Until I Found You
by evgrrl09
Summary: Penelope must choose between her husband and the love of her life. Some decisions are not easy. Sometimes love at first sight is real. Morgan/Garcia story.
1. A Mysterious Stranger

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **So this is a new story I'm starting. I couldn't get the idea out of my head, so I decided to go ahead and write it! This is an AU story, but many of the Criminal Minds characters we know and love will appear. And since they're the bomb, the stars of this show will be Morgan and Garcia ;) I hope you guys will like it.**

If anyone asked Penelope Garcia what her wedding day would have been when she was a child, the answer would have been a fairy tale. A wedding with exotic, beautiful flowers, in a garden beneath a white canopy, and a string quartet playing _Canon in D_. Something heavenly.

And when she walked down the aisle to Jason, she knew she would be in heaven.

She'd known Jason Kenton since she was fresh out of college. The two of them had a storybook relationship, something for the ages. He was handsome and successful, just the person who she could spend her life with. She could hardly wait to finally be married to him.

"Everything is looking beautiful!" JJ cooed as she entered the room where Penelope and the rest of the bridesmaids were preparing for the wedding ceremony to take place.

Penelope turned in her long, white wedding gown to face her maid of honor. A radiant smile lit up her face as she gazed at her.

"It's almost time?" she asked, excitement radiating from her voice. Her heart raced with the prospect of finally getting to marry her best friend in the whole world, the man who held her heart.

JJ winked at her. "Your groom is waiting with a smile on his face," she said, ushering Penelope toward the door.

Taking a deep breath, Penelope followed JJ and her two other bridesmaids out of the room. She felt jittery, like streams of fire were racing through her veins.

This was her day.

As they walked down the halls of the small set of rooms off of the garden where the wedding would take place, Penelope nearly barreled into someone leaving the men's restroom. She tripped over the skirt of her dress, but before she could reach the ground, the mysterious stranger caught her.

"Hang on, Baby Girl!"

Penelope looked up into the eyes of the man who caught her and gave him a grateful smile.

"Oh, thanks!" she cried. Adrenaline made her voice squeaky.

The stranger had dark skin and a bright smile that Penelope found herself unable to look away from. She couldn't help but smile back at him; his own grin was just so infectious. What was this feeling she was experiencing as she looked at him? Her belly felt warm, and all of the sudden her bridesmaids disappeared from her peripheral vision.

All she saw was this handsome stranger in front of her.

"Careful there," he said, a twinge of amusement in his voice. "You wanna get down that aisle in one piece."

Penelope grinned at him. "Yeah," she said. "I do."

Before she could say anything else, JJ drew her attention away from the man in front of her. "Penelope! C'mon, you don't want to be late. Jason will just worry you're ducking out on him." She laughed slightly.

Smiling, Penelope nodded. But when she looked back where the man had been standing, he had disappeared, almost as if he ha not been standing there in the first place. Somehow that made her feel sad. She liked his smile.

There was no time to think about someone fleeting whom was likely the date of one of her wedding guests. Jason awaited her at the end of the aisle, and there was nothing to do but get down there to kiss her groom.

XXXXX

"You look beautiful," Jason said, kissing the top of Penelope's hand as they went to greet their guests at their reception. His index finger traced the outline of her ring on her hand. He smiled at her, unable to keep it off his face.

Penelope grinned back, tweaking his nose. "I know." He shook his head and chuckled. She looked into his blue eyes, savoring the warmth she felt every time she saw them. From now on she could wake up every morning to see those eyes. "I love you, Jujube," she murmured, using the nickname she had given him because of the way he tossed back JuJuBe candy when they first started dating.

Jason smiled at the sound of the nickname, but as he opened his mouth to respond, their guests began to flood toward them with their congratulations. Penelope took hands of people she both knew and some people that she didn't. By the end of the night, she was sure her face would be hurting from all the smiling.

Eventually the stream of people slowed down to the point where she could

"Oh, sweetie!" Jason said, tugging on her arm to get her attention. "C'mere. You have to meet an old buddy of mine!"

Surprised at her husband's enthusiasm, Penelope chuckled. However, when they came face to face with whom Jason wanted her to meet, her mouth nearly dropped to the ground. Instantly a bubbling began in her belly, and her hands started to tingle with sweat. She knew this face.

It was none other than the mysterious stranger who had run into her in the hallway on the trek to the ceremony.

Swallowing hard, she smiled. "Hi, there," she said.

The stranger shot her a returning grin before Jason pulled him into a bro hug. They clapped one another on the back, laughing as they did.

"What's up, my man?" the man said to Jason, pulling out of the hug. Penelope took the opportunity to observe him. She'd never met this friend of Jason's. She wondered where they knew each other from. Her husband and she had not met until after college; maybe this was someone he had played football with.

Jason grinned. "Thanks for coming! It's been, what, six years?"

The man nodded. "Maybe something more like seven," he said.

"Well, whatever it's been, I'm glad you were able to make it," he said. Turning back toward an expectant Penelope, he gently took her arm and brought her forward to introduce her. "Penelope, this is a ball buddy from college, Derek Morgan. We played football together. Derek, this is my wife, Penelope."

Penelope extended her hand, smiling at Derek Morgan as they shook hands for the first time. "It's nice to meet you," she said, trying to figure out what the feeling she was having was right now. She couldn't tell what was so intriguing about him. Something just struck her about the way he carried himself.

Derek flashed her a smile. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kenton," he said, giving her a wink. "You've got a great guy here. My boy Jason here was a good friend back in college."

"I know," she said with a laugh. She turned to look at her husband and touched his chest. "This one's a keeper."

"Well, you'll both have to come have some dinner with me," Derek said. "I'm in DC now."

Penelope watched as Jason's eyes brightened and he grew excited. "So close? Shit, man! We're definitely going to have to get together. Penelope doesn't eat meat, but she makes some mean pasta."

Derek met Penelope's eyes and a teasing grin lit up his face.

"Damn, how'd you manage to keep her with all the hamburgers you throw back?" He chuckled.

Penelope narrowed her eyes at the other man before kissing Jason on the cheek. "As long as I'm not the one eating them, I don't care what he eats," she said. "I love him too much." She couldn't help but feel a little annoyed with this stranger. Who was he to say this to her? Did she look like so shallow as to leave a man because he didn't follow the same diet as her?

Jason grinned at her. "I'd give up meat if you asked me to, though, sweetheart."

Clapping his old friend on the back, Derek nodded to them. "I'm going to go find my seat at the reception tables," he said. "I'll let you two lovebirds get ready for the speeches."

And without another word, Jason's friend disappeared into the throngs of people, leaving Penelope and Jason together to greet more of their guests.

XXXXX

 _Later That Evening_

Derek leaned over the stone bannister that overlooked the gardens where Jason's wedding was being held. He watched the twinkling lights of the reception from where he stood, in awe of how much work his friend's new wife had put into their decorations. She'd certainly gone all out.

He couldn't quite place his finger on why this Penelope person fascinated him so much. Though he didn't understand how anyone could go vegetarian, he liked her. He was jealous good-boy Jason had landed yet another perfect girl. This was how it always went in college with him. Sure, Derek had lots of girlfriends, but Jason always ended up in the good relationships, the solid ones.

As he stared at the twinkling lights, he caught sight of someone coming into his little haven of solitude. When he tilted his head in the direction of who had just entered, he caught sight of the unmistakable white, shimmery gown. She looked beautiful under the moonlight, keeping her eyes up to the sky with a dreamy smile on her face.

He had to resist the urge to say something to her. He wanted to say something, but he also didn't want to disturb her. She looked so serene, like everything had disappeared from the world until she was left with nothing but the stars above her.

Derek felt a warm bubbling begin in his gut, and he didn't want it to stop.

"Catching a little alone time?" he asked, finally breaking the stillness in the air.

Penelope's face snapped in his direction, startled. When she saw it was just him, she shook her head and smiled.

"Oh," she said. "Hi."

He stuck his hands in his pockets, striding toward her. Tilting his head toward the reception, he arched a brow. "You taking a break from your festivities?"

A grin lit up her face as she shrugged. "Yeah," she said. "I love them, but I needed a break." She stopped in front of him, leaning on the balcony as she shot him a probing glance at him. "What about you? What are you doing up here?"

"Same as you," he said. "Taking a break. I'm not much of a – "

"A people person?" she said, finishing for him.

Derek chuckled. "How'd you guess?"

Penelope bit her perfectly painted pink lip, hiding a smile. "I just had a sense about you," she said with a teasing tone.

He smiled at her, but then bent his head to rub his forehead. "Hey, listen," he began. "I'm sorry for picking on Jason about the vegetarian thing. I was just kidding. Old college buddies, you know?"

"Oh, don't worry about it!" she said. She swatted his arm lightly, throwing him another amused look. Her eyes twinkled. "If you do it again, maybe you'll have a problem, though…"

"It won't happen again," he vowed, putting his hand over his heart.

Penelope regarded him carefully, but then asked, "Why'd you show up out of nowhere to see your old friend get married? I'd never heard of you. Jason and I tell each other everything."

"Everything but who your old college friends are evidently," he said with a slight chuckle.

She pursed her lips. "Yeah, yeah," she said. "But really. Answer the question."

He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Just seemed the like the right time to reconnect," he said. "Jason was a good friend to me. Great ballplayer, good wingman." Penelope rolled her eyes at his last comment, making him laugh louder.

"I'm sure he was," she remarked dryly.

Softening, he made a bold move and rested a hand on her shoulder. Her bare skin felt baby soft, like a velvety satin. "Seriously though, you just married a great man. He's the perfect guy, he'll take good care of you."

Penelope gave him a smile that warmed his heart to the point he felt like he was seeing a side of her she rarely showed anyone. It felt like a private smile.

"I know he will," she said. "I'll take care of him, too. He's my best friend."

For a moment they watched one another, neither of them tearing their eyes from each other.

 _There's something about her…_ he thought, his heart growing forlorn.

He needed to leave before he got to know her all the more and landed himself in some form of trouble.

"I'm going to head out I think," he said, still not looking away from her. "I need to get home for work tomorrow."

"So soon?" she asked, her voice coming out almost as a squeak. "But we haven't even cut the cake yet, or – "

"Nah, I do have to go," he said. "But I'll take you up on dinner. Let me know when you guys want me over. I'd love to get to know the new Mrs. Kenton."

Penelope smiled her sweet, kind smile he was already in love with. "Sure," she said. "I'd like that."

Without another word, Derek turned to leave. But before he could get very far, Penelope called out to him. "Hey, Derek? Thank you for not letting me fall."

"I'll catch you anytime you need me to," he replied.


	2. Dinner Invitation

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Hi all! Sorry the updates have taken so long. I've had a busy week. Thank you to all who have reviewed, and I'll be sending you thank you messages soon :)**

 _Six Weeks Later_

"Who else is coming to the dinner party?" JJ asked Penelope as the two of them sat down in their favorite DC coffeehouse. "And did you bring everyone gifts back from the honeymoon in Aruba?"

Penelope's lips twitched into a grin before she took a sip of her coffee. "No," she said. "You and Henry are the only two who got anything from the trip. At least from me." Her honeymoon had been beautiful, a blissful three-week escape from the busy life of Washington DC and her job at a tech firm.

Now that she and Jason were back, it was time to get back to the real world and not her fairytale paradise with her husband.

"Alright, fair enough," JJ said. She laughed. "Before I find out how much you spoiled my son this time, tell me who's coming tomorrow night."

"Well, other than you, we've got Hank and Thomas and their wives that work with Jason, Ashleigh from my work, and her boyfriend," Penelope said. She bit her lip, thinking she was missing someone. "Oh, and Savannah!"

JJ arched a brow. "Savannah? The one who works with Jason? The one who – "

"The one who he's pretty sure has slept her way through the office? Yeah, that one," Penelope said. She shook her head. "You know, I never really thought she was all that bad. But my hubby dear says he's pretty positive she did it." She shrugged. "But he doesn't have any control who I'm inviting."

"Penelope?"

As she looked up, her eyes fell upon a face she was never going to forget as long as she lived. It was none other Derek Morgan. He was dressed sharply in crisp pants and a button down that clung to his chest in all the right places. Penelope tilted her head to the side, observing him more carefully than she should have.

"Derek!" she said, grinning brightly. She rose from her seat at the table and leaned forward to hug him, despite not knowing him very well. A friend of Jason was a friend of hers now. The smell of his cologne filled her nostrils, almost intoxicating. "How are you?"

He smiled at her when she pulled out of a hug. "I'm alright," he said, bobbing his head in a nod. "Yourself?"

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes. "Oh, I'm fabulous. Jason and I had a great honeymoon."

Derek shot her a teasing grin. "Get a little…sun?" He winked at her.

Rolling her eyes, Penelope glanced over at JJ. Her best friend cleared her throat, waiting expectantly for an introduction to be made. Gesturing to JJ, Penelope added, "Oh, Derek, this is my best friend, JJ. She was – "

"Maid of Honor on the big day," Derek finished for her. "I remember." He shot JJ a quick grin, but then turned his attention back to Penelope without sparing JJ much more of a glance. "How's my man Jason doing? He treating you well?"

Blushing, Penelope nodded. "Of course," she said. Pointing at the table, she added, "Do you want to join us? We're sitting for a little while before we go back to work."

"I gotta go," he said, apologetically. "There are some suspects I have to go and interview."

Penelope arched a brow. "Suspects?"

Derek laughed. "What, did Jason not tell you I'm a DC detective?"

"No way!" she said. "That's awesome. You should tell me about it sometime." Brightening, she snapped her fingers. "Hey! I'm throwing a dinner party tomorrow night. Come over."

He looked hesitant for a moment. "Well…"

Giving him a false stern glance, Penelope wagged a finger at him. "Don't pretend you don't want to," she said. "It won't be all vegetarian, don't worry."

Derek looked to be contemplating the offer, and Penelope grinned with the hope it would help with his decision.

Finally, he gave her a nod. "Alright," he said, relenting. "You got me. I'll be there."

"I knew I'd get you," she said with a wink. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she awaited his number.

After giving her his number, Derek checked his watch. "Well, I've got to get running, but I'll see you both tomorrow night." He gave JJ a slight wave before giving Penelope a lingering smile. She liked his smile. It warmed her belly.

"Bye," she said, watching as her husband's friend walked out of the coffee shop.

As soon as she sat down again, she caught sight of JJ's raised eyebrows. She shrugged. "What? He's a friend of Jason's."

"No, I know that," JJ said. "And now I know who the mystery man who caught you is."

Penelope crossed her arms over her chest, trying to ignore the probing stare from her best friend. She shrugged. "What's wrong, Jayje? You look like you've got something to say. Don't be shy."

"I saw how he was looking at you," JJ said, taking a pensive sip of her coffee. "I just think you should keep an eye on that."

Huffing, Penelope kept her face down on the table. She knew JJ was forward, but she didn't think she would go for that suggestion so quickly. She shook her head, praying her instant interest in Derek Morgan would not be noticeable.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was going to try to talk him into going out with Savannah," she blurted out. She didn't know why she said it, but it felt like the thing to say to get JJ off her back. "She needs someone, he needs someone. It looks like it'll work."

JJ blinked several times. "Whatever you say, Garcie," she said, skeptical.

Swallowing hard, Penelope felt her phone vibrate from her purse. She dug her hand in and saw that her husband was calling. "Well, what do you know?" she said. "It's my husband dear! I think I'll let him know his buddy is going to be at dinner tomorrow."

XXXXX

 _The Next Night_

Derek straightened his back as he raised his fist to knock on the door to the Kentons' DC townhouse. He swallowed hard and looked at the items he held: a six-pack of Jason's favorite beer from college and a bouquet of lilies. It would be a lie to say the flowers weren't specifically for Penelope.

Since the wedding six weeks ago, he'd been unable to stop thinking about her. Her honey blonde hair, her enchanting smile, her porcelain skin; they all haunted him. This had happened once before for him, back in college, but then the woman he'd fallen for like that had ultimately cheated on him.

Though he'd sworn to never follow his feelings this way ever again, he found himself fighting tooth and nail to stop it from happening again.

Knocking sharply, he waited patiently for someone to answer. The door swung open to reveal Jason. His old friend grinned brightly at him, the same grin he'd had in college.

"Morgan, my man!" he said, ushering him in. He clapped him on the back and stuck his hand out to shake. "I'm glad you were able to make it."

Derek shrugged. "Well, your wife made a pretty convincing argument to get me to come," he said.

"What's that you've got there?" Jason asked, leading Derek down the hall.

"Little bit of nostalgia, little bit of something for –" Derek started to say.

"Derek!"

Glancing down a hall, Derek caught sight of Penelope, an apron tied around her wrap dress. He swallowed hard, holding out the flowers. "These, uh, these are for you," he stuttered.

Penelope stopped in front of Jason and Derek. Her hair sat atop her head with several sparkly butterfly pins, several stray tendrils loose and floating down her smooth white neck. She smiled at him, taking the bountiful bouquet of lilies in her arms.

"These are über gorgeous!" she said, her fingers tracing one of the lily petals. She glanced over at Jason, her face glowing. "Aren't these great, Jujube?"

Derek arched a brow at his friend at the nickname, but when he saw Jason lean forward to kiss his wife lightly on the lips, a small tickle of jealousy settled at the base of his spine. He forced himself to bury the feelings, though. He couldn't feel this way.

It would only destroy him in the end.

"They're lovely," Jason said. "Just like you." He shot her a corny grin.

Penelope swatted his arm teasingly. "Oh, you," she said. She looked back at Derek. "What else did you bring?"

He raised the beer. "Ommegang," he said. "We used to drink this in college from the beer pong. It was your favorite back then, right?"

Jason laughed and took the beer. "Damn," he said. "Thanks, man. Good memory."

Penelope wrapped an arm around Jason's waist. "Well, let's get to the kitchen and introduce Derek to everyone." She kissed him on the cheek before taking Derek's hand and pulling him down the hall. "C'mon. We've got a bunch of people who want to meet you!"

"Alright," Derek said with a small laugh. Penelope pulled him into the pristine kitchen where several people were gathered. The only one Derek recognized was JJ, who raised her glass in greeting.

"Hey, Derek," JJ said. "Nice to see you again."

Derek smiled. "You, too."

Penelope grinned at him, then gestured around the kitchen. "Everyone, this is Derek Morgan, a friend of Jason's from college. Derek, these are Jason's coworkers and their wives, Hank and Janice Hughes, and Thomas and Elsa Richardson; Ashleigh Reese, a friend from my work; and you already know JJ. And Savannah who works with Jason, too, isn't in the room right now, but she's – "

"Right here," a silky voice said from behind Penelope and Derek. They turned to face the voice, and when they did an extremely beautiful woman appeared. She smiled brightly, batting her lashes, but Derek merely gave her a small nod. He looked back at Penelope.

"Savannah, this is Derek, a friend of Jason's from college," Penelope said, patting his shoulder as she introduced him.

"Nice to meet you," Savannah said, reaching out to shake his hand.

Derek shook her hand, but the gesture was half-hearted. He was still too enchanted with Penelope to pay much attention to this new woman. Every bone in his body warned him against feeling this way, but he couldn't stop looking at her. She radiated light and warmth he wouldn't mind getting comfortable with.

 _Stop it, Morgan,_ he scolded himself. _Jason is your friend_.

Penelope held the flowers up. "Alright, well I'm going to put these in some water. You all get comfy, and we'll have dinner soon!"

Smiling, she walked away with the flowers. Derek couldn't help but watch as she went away, longing to know more about her and the heart he was already seeing.


	3. A Believer In Love At First Sight

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **So after the huge blow we were dealt after this episode with Morgan leaving, it's safe to say I will probably no longer watch anything from after 2016 started. However, I am a firm believer in the Morgan/Garcia ship, and I'm going to keep writing because it's all I've got to keep new Morcia content fresh in my brain. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed :)**

"Everything is delicious, Penelope," Penelope's friend from work, Ashleigh said.

Penelope smiled proudly, taking a bite of her salad. "Well, everything but the lamb chops was me," she said. "That was all my boo-boo over there." She raised her wine glass and winked at her husband.

Jason raised his glass back at her. "The least I could do," he said.

Penelope blew him a kiss from where he sat beside his coworkers. As her eyes were drawn away from Jason, she caught sight of Derek. He'd been quiet throughout dinner, speaking briefly and only laughing occasionally. Sometimes he would flash a sparkling smile, but it didn't last long. At one point she tried catching his eye to give him a comforting smile, but somehow she never managed to get him to look at her.

She couldn't deny that disappointed her a little bit.

"We all know the best cooking in this house is done by my beautiful wife," Jason said, taking a bite of his salad. "Best vinaigrette I've ever had."

Penelope batted her eyelashes. "Don't I know it."

From next to her, JJ snorted. She sipped her wine. "Oh, Jesus," she said.

"What?" Penelope asked, arching a brow at her best friend. "What's that snicker for?"

Shaking her head, JJ took another drink of wine. She blinked innocently. "You two are nauseating," she said. "Like two teenagers who sneak around high school making out between classes. Nauseating."

Penelope opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say anything, Jason's coworker, Thomas said, "Nope, JJ's right. You two are ridiculous. Gushier than anything I've ever seen."

Thomas' wife slapped his arm with a chuckle. "Oh, Tommy stop," she said. "Don't pester them…even if they really _are_ the gushiest couple we've ever seen." She laughed, and Penelope had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. She blushed, wishing she could shut the woman up.

She didn't want to be embarrassed in front of Derek, whom she had only just met.

Savannah smiled. "When did you two know you were so in love?" she asked, eyeing both Jason and Penelope.

"Help me out here, Jujube," Penelope insisted, shooting Jason a desperate smile.

"That right there proves my point," JJ said. "You call him _Jujube_. That's all anyone needs to hear for proof." She grinned wickedly.

Waving her hand flippantly at JJ, Penelope turned back to Savannah and smiled kindly. "Well, I'll tell you how I knew I was in love," she said. She winked at Jason before readjusting her attention to Savannah. "This one and I went out right after college. We spent every waking second together, night and day, and –"

"With an emphasis on nights," Jason interrupted, catching his wife's eye once again. He smirked teasingly.

Penelope narrowed her eyes at him, trying to keep a smile off her face. "Anyway," she said, "we spent all the time in the world together. He was so funny, and smart, and – "

Ashleigh chimed in this time. "Good in bed?"

"Hush, you!" Penelope said. "You have to let me tell the story! Anyway, so we got to know each other better than anyone else because we never left each other's sides." She smiled, letting the warmth spread through her body that she had felt when they were first falling in love.

She was quiet a long moment, basking in that feeling. When she went on, a dreamy smile covered her face. "That's how you know you're in love," she said. "You don't realize it at first. It seems like just an attraction at first, but then you start feeling warm and comfortable. It's when you feel like the world is finally in the right place, and you know you've found that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. It's a slow process, but that's what love is." She looked down at her wedding ring and twisted it on her finger, admiring the way it looked on her hand.

The room was quiet for a long moment before someone spoke.

"I don't agree."

All eyes in the room jumped toward the voice. Penelope's eyes went wide when she found it was Derek who had spoken.

"Wh –what are you talking about?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Derek shrugged. "I don't think love happens that slow," he said. "I think that people know right away when they're in love. You know as soon as you look at someone, when your eyes touch, if they're the right person for you. I think that's when real love happens."

"I…what…" Penelope sputtered. "But how could love happen at first sight like that? What if you see something in that person that you didn't see when you first looked at them? If I had felt that way when I first looked at Jason and convinced myself I was in love with him at first sight, we would never have gotten to where we are now. I never would have seen past his awful snoring if thought I was in love with him at first sight."

Derek smiled. "Even with the snoring you're still with him now," he said. "So if you'd fallen in love with him right away, wouldn't you have still stuck with him?"

Penelope fumed, not understanding why this essential stranger to her house was suggesting that love wasn't really love unless someone fell in love right away.

"Well, how about dessert?" Jason cut in at just the right time because Penelope knew she would have blown up at Derek Morgan if he hadn't.

"I like that idea," Savannah said. "We'd better get these two away from each other." She laughed, her voice sounding like a twinkling bell.

Still giving Derek a death glare, Penelope rose from her seat and started collecting everyone's plates. "Dessert sounds great," she said.

She didn't say that a strong cocktail, not dessert, was what she really needed.

XXXXX

Derek sat outside on Jason and Penelope's balcony that had a view of DC. The lights twinkled back at him as he took another sip of his wine. He wondered how much an apartment like this would have cost to get a view like this.

Behind him the sliding glass door slid open. He turned to find Penelope coming out of the apartment. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a tentative smile. Even when she wasn't smiling radiantly, she still had the quirkiest smile he'd ever seen.

"Hi there," she said, closing the door behind her.

He raised his glass to her. "The hostess of the evening," he said, flashing her a grin. Rubbing his head with his free hand, he watched as she crossed the balcony to lean against the rail next to him. He caught a faint whiff of her perfume again. "Hey, listen. I'm sorry if what I said upset you. I don't – "

Penelope shook her head. "Don't," she said. Shooting him a wider smile, she added, "As long as you know you're wrong." She winked.

Derek chuckled. "Don't think it doesn't happen, Baby Girl," he said.

"We'll come back to the story where you convince me love at first sight, but first we have to address this thing with you calling me 'Baby Girl,'" she said, smiling.

He laughed. "What about it?"

"Well, you called me that when you caught me before I fell at the wedding, then you just called me that now," she said. "You're calling a married woman 'Baby Girl.' What's up with that?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "The name just seemed to fit for you."

"I bet you tell all the girls you call _Baby_ _Girl_ that," she said, teasing.

Derek laughed. He decided not to tell her there was no other woman he had called Baby Girl.

"We can just keep this our little secret," she said.

He arched a brow at her. "I thought you and Jason told each other everything."

She laughed. "We do," she said. "But every once in awhile I need to try something new. And what better way to try it out than with a new friend who calls me something sexually suggestive? It's perfect, especially if it's with someone who it won't mean anything for."

 _It will mean something to me, though,_ he thought.

But he couldn't say that to her. Tweaking her nose, he smiled. "You're definitely a silly one, Baby Girl," he said.

With another laugh, Penelope leaned over and wrapped him in a hug. "I'm really glad you came, Detective. We'll have to have you over again. I know Jason was really happy to have you here."

He hugged her back. "Were you?" He couldn't stop himself from blurting it out.

She pulled out of the hug and looked at him oddly. He almost regretted saying the words, but she shook her head and laughed. "Of course I was! The more the merrier at these things."

"Good. I'm glad." Derek smiled at her, trying his hardest to bury the feelings that were only growing stronger.


	4. Pints and Story-Telling

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Hey, all! Here is the next chapter of this AU Morcia story for you. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed!**

"Three pints, all for us!" Spencer Reid, a forensic analyst who worked with the DC police, declared. He set the three beer glasses he'd just acquired from the bartender down on the table where he, David Rossi, and Derek were sitting. The three were gathered for a weekly rendezvous at their favorite bar.

"Cheers, gentlemen," Rossi, Derek's partner, said.

Derek eagerly accepted his. He raised his beer to his friends before sipping from his glass. The beer slid down his throat easily, warming his belly. This was what he needed after a long day of work.

A long day of work and thoughts of Penelope.

Several weeks had passed since the dinner party she had thrown, but he had seen her several times in that time frame. True, the majority of those times he had seen her had been when he was reconnecting with Jason, but that didn't stop his onslaught of feelings.

"Smile, Morgan," Rossi said, giving him a sharp shove in the shoulder. "You've been moping all day."

Derek grunted. "I'm not moping."

"You're hardly happy, that's for sure," Reid chimed in. "You know, Morgan, if you need to make yourself happier, you should just try smiling. Studies have shown that people can improve their mood by just trying to grin. It gives you a rush of endorphins that can make – "

Shooting Reid a withering glare, Derek silenced him. "I don't have time for that crap," he said.

Rossi snorted. "You think smiling is crap?"

"No, I think smiling to raise my endorphins or whatever the hell you're talking about is crap," Derek said.

Chuckling, Rossi sipped his beer. "I've known you a long time, Morgan – "

"Too long if you ask me," Morgan grunted.

" – and in the time I've known you, you've never had problems smiling unless you're dealing with girl troubles," Rossi finished. "You've got girl troubles."

Derek shot Rossi a look. He had not yet told his best friends about how he was feeling about Penelope. Usually he told them about his dalliances, but this time it had been different. For some reason this felt much more private, like a present he wanted to keep all for himself.

"We're not going there," he said.

"Oh, c'mon Morgan, you always go there!" Reid said with a slight laugh. "We hear about each and every girl you ever take out. What's so different about this one?"

Derek arched a brow. "Why do you want to know all of the sudden? If I remember correctly, you _never_ want to hear about the girls I'm dating."

"Only you're not dating this one…are you?" Rossi said. He stroked his beard. "This one's different."

Rolling his eyes, Derek rubbed his face. "Oh, here we go with the profiling me again," he said. Rossi had a habit of using the profiling skills he'd picked up over the years on not just their suspects, but on Derek as well.

"Well, it's working," Reid said, excitedly. He tapped the table with the palm of his hand. "Keep going. I wanna know who the mystery woman is."

"Patience, Dr. Reid," Rossi said. "Let me do this. As I was saying, our good friend Morgan here is not dating the mystery woman."

Derek glared at them both.

Rossi leaned back in his seat and smiled devilishly. "Now, let's review what we already know: Morgan's been acting this way for at least three months now. It's gotten more pronounced lately, but needless to say it's been like this for a little while. What do we know that happened a few months ago, class?"

"He had that wedding for his old college buddy, didn't he?" Reid said.

"Correct, Dr. Reid," Rossi said. "There are several things we know based on this little bit of information. At this wedding, he probably met someone. Single men tend to have good luck with weddings, especially when said single men are as handsome as our compatriot here."

Reid started to laugh, but a single glance from Derek silenced him. Rossi, however, was unafraid of his partner's glare.

"It's been a few months since our mutual friend went to the wedding, but we do know that he went to a dinner party with this happily married couple just a three weeks ago. Now, one might generally assume that he found a bridesmaid to be friendly with. And that would be a good thought. I mean, bridesmaids are typically friends of the bride. It only makes sense one would be at a dinner party thrown by friends. But why, then, would it be incorrect to assume that he's enamored with a bridesmaid?"

Reid raised a hand, waiting for a nod from Rossi to answer. "We would have heard about it if there had been a romance with a bridesmaid."

"Correct, pupil," Rossi said. "So then the list of women grows shorter. We haven't heard anything about a lover, or even a girlfriend. Which leads us to the conclusion that this woman is either not into men – because no available woman would say no to a face like this – " He paused to pat Derek on the cheek. " – or she is already taken. And because of his melancholic behavior, I'd say it is safe to assume there is some obstacle keeping him from trying to woo his way into this lady's affections." Looking back at Reid with a smirk on his face, Rossi waited expectantly for an answer. "Anyone care to answer for the class who the mystery lady is?"

Reid grinned. "The mystery lady is his friend's new wife!"

Derek rolled his eyes before clapping a few times. "Congratulations, guys," he said. "You have figured out the great mystery of Derek Morgan. Now, can we please move on?"

"It's not like you to fall for a married woman," Rossi said, sipping his beer and observing Derek carefully. "She would have to be a remarkable woman to make you fall for her while she's got a ring on her finger."

 _She certainly is_ , Derek thought to himself, not saying a single word aloud.

"I will say you need to be careful, though," Reid said.

"Gee, I had no idea that I should be careful about this," Derek said, sarcasm laced thick in his tone. "That never would have occurred to me."

Rossi snickered. "You've definitely been bitten hard by this one. Wanna tell us all about her?"

"And have you both mercilessly taunt me about her? No, I think I'll pass on that," Derek muttered.

Shrugging, Rossi sipped his beer once again. "I'll tell you what three marriages has taught me, Morgan: never try to go after a married woman," he said. "It'll just ruin everything. Especially if you're friends with her husband."

Derek threw his hands up. "What part of that sarcastic comment I just made you think I'm going to try going after her?" he asked.

"Just…we know you Morgan," Reid said, cautious. "You're a…well, a player."

"Don't even start with me," Derek said. "This is completely different. She's pretty in love with her husband."

"This is a repeat of that girl in college, isn't it?" Rossi cut in. "The one who you –"

Derek let out a growl. " _Don't_ even go there," he said.

Reid's brows shot upward. "What girl?" he asked. "Who are you talking about?"

He couldn't take anymore. Rising from his seat, Derek threw some dollar bills on the table. "This is for the drinks," he said. "I'm out of here."

"Oh, c'mon, Morgan!" Rossi said, his expression growing apologetic. "We were just messing around."

"Nah, I know you were," Derek said. He shrugged. "I'm beat, though. I'll see you two tomorrow."

And without another work, he strode out of the bar and into the cool weather. He stared at the streetlights of DC and sighed. He sighed deeply. Rossi and Reid were right: he did need to be careful.

Growing feelings for a married woman were not something he wanted to deal with.

XXXXX

Penelope giggled beside Jason as they watched _The Princess Bride_ for the umpteenth time in their relationship. It was one of the things he loved so much about his wife; they shared the same movie tastes.

"God, I love this movie," Penelope said, snuggling into Jason even closer.

He kissed the top of her head. "It's what makes us a perfect match," he said.

She glanced over at him and pecked his lips. "You'll always be the Westley to my Buttercup," she said. After tweaking his nose, she turned back to watch the remainder of the movie.

Jason grinned, but it was a half-hearted smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. The past few weeks with Penelope had been interesting. She'd not been herself. There were periods where she would stare off into space with a blank expression so uncharacteristic of his wife. And where they used to have sex a few times a week, they were down to once ever few.

 _That_ was definitely not his wife.

But the worst part was he had no idea what was going on.

Right at the scene where the quartet of heroes was leaping from the window to escape into the sunset, a thought struck Jason. He waited until the credits to speak, but the thought remained.

"Do you think Westley and Buttercup had kids after they escaped?" he asked in a soft voice.

Penelope's eyes went wide, and she swallowed hard. "Wh – what?" she said, looking over at him with a nervous twitch of her lips.

Jason pointed at the screen. "Them," he said. "Don't you wonder if they had kids?"

Leaning forward in her seat, Penelope took a gulp of her wine. "Is this going somewhere?" she asked.

He flipped the TV off and rubbed her back. "Well…I'm wondering if you and I should start talking about little ones," he said.

She giggled nervously and rose from her seat. She didn't look at him. "I think we need to wait a little while longer," she said, starting for the kitchen. "I don't know if we have time for talking about…children right now."

And then she was silent, disappearing through the doorway and from view.

Jason sighed and leaned back in his seat. His heart sank. Though they'd never specifically talked about children, he'd always assumed they would want to have them once married.

Her reaction had come out of the blue to him.

 _Am I doing something wrong_? he thought mournfully.

He hoped to god he wasn't because he didn't think he could handle disappointing the one person in his life who mattered most.


	5. Keeping Secrets

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **This chapter includes a little throwback to "Reflections of Desire" in season 6. The attraction is growing between these two. Thanks so much for reviewing!**

Lunch alone was something most people did not relish. However Penelope found herself not minding it every once in a while. She sat in the small café where she usually ate lunch when by herself. She spooned some soup into her mouth, looking over several work orders she had.

But even as she tried to focus, her attention kept getting drawn elsewhere. She thought back to the conversation she had with Jason just the other night, the one about children. In fact, it was all she had been able to think about since he talked with her about it. It wasn't that she disliked children – hell, she loved her godson, Henry to death – but she didn't know if she was ready.

She had no idea what it was that kept her from wanting kids, though.

Sighing, she threw her pen down in frustration. She wasn't getting anything done. All she could do was think about how dejected her husband had sounded when she told him she didn't want children just yet. She felt horrible.

Just when she thought her day couldn't become anymore confusing, a person entered the coffee shop, one who she really didn't need in her life right now. Anytime he came around she felt conflicted about whether or not she should spend any time with him.

Derek and Jason were spending time together, reconnecting after their college days. He came over sometimes and the two men would sit on the patio that overlooked DC, drinking beers and talking about whatever "guy stuff" they had going on. Every moment he was there she felt on edge, like if she kept her gaze on him too long she would receive a fierce shock. When he came to the door, she would smile and try to pretend she wasn't too eager to see him.

There was just… _something_ about him. Something that made her want to know everything about him.

"Don't look this way," she said under her breath as she saw him tilt his head around. "Just order and disappear around the corner and –"

Luck abandoned her, though. Derek glanced in the direction of her seat by the window. When he saw her, a smile spread across his face. Unable to stop herself from smiling too, Penelope lifted her hand to give him a small wave.

Stepping out of his place in the line to order, he strode toward her table.

"Mind if I join you, Baby Girl?" he asked, pointing to the seat across from her.

Penelope's lips tilted upward into a smile. His eyes on hers caused her belly to rumble with a pleasant heat. The feeling she'd had when he first appeared no longer fazed her. She just wanted him there.

"Why don't you order, and we'll see if I'm still sitting here by then," she said.

Derek nodded. "I'll see how fast I can get that food."

She smiled at him again and watched him as he returned to the line to order his food. As he left, her ringtone for Jason blared out. At first, she didn't answer it. The sound of "Teenage Dream" persisted, but all she saw was Derek. As he pulled his wallet out to pay the cashier, she shook her head swiftly. Reaching into her purse, she answered with a bright, "Hello?"

"Hey, gorgeous," her husband said, a smile in his voice.

That alone brought a smile to her face. She could focus on her husband, no problem.

"Hey back," she said. "How's your day going?"

"Eh, it's going," he said. "It'll be better when I get home and see you." He chuckled.

She rolled her eyes at the cheesy remark, but smiled wider. "Like I haven't heard that before," she said. "What's up, though?"

"I need to know if we're gonna be RSVPing to Vince's wedding," he said. "Did you think about if you wanted to go or not?"

Biting her lip, Penelope forced herself to try and remember what he was talking about. When had he asked her about this? How come she couldn't recall anything about it?

"Umm…" she said, her voice trailing off. "Remind me again of when you talked with me about it, will you?"

Jason laughed, almost nervously. "I thought you seemed kind of distracted when I was talking about it."

As Jason filled her in, Penelope's gaze started to wander. Somehow she found herself returning to Derek, watching as he flashed a charming grin in the direction of the cashier. The woman who took his cash smiled dreamily at him before he walked off.

"…so it'll be on the twelfth at five in the evening," Jason finished.

Blinking several times, Penelope willed her unconscious to remember every word he'd said. "Umm, yes," she said, hoping her voice didn't sound too much like a question when she answered.

"Great!" he said. "I'll send that RSVP in, and we'll be all set. You having an alright day?"

Penelope considered for a moment telling him she was now eating lunch with Derek, but something halted her tongue before the words could escape. For some reason she just wanted to keep this to herself, like a present meant just for her.

 _That technically counts as betrayal, Garcia,_ she thought to herself.

"Oh, you know…just having lunch by myself," she lied. Derek started to approach the table again, his food in his hands, and all of the sudden she felt the immediate desire to hang up. "Listen, Jujube, I've got to finish up this paperwork before I get back to the office. See you at six tonight?"

"I'll let you go then," he said, none the wiser to what she was up to. "See you tonight, honey. I love you."

"I love you, too," she murmured as Derek sat down across from her. As she hung up, she smiled widely at him. Her initial happiness at seeing him started to get stabbed at by the notion that she had just lied to Jason. Swallowing hard, she forced it away. Shame would have to wait.

Derek took a drink of water. "That my buddy _Jujube_?" he asked, a teasing tone in his voice.

She rolled her eyes at him. "That's _my_ name for him," she said. "Somehow it doesn't sound as good when you say it."

"That's 'cause I'm a guy," he said. He took a bite of his sandwich, chewing thoughtfully before speaking again. "I'm not interrupting you getting work done, am I?" He nodded to her papers in front of her.

Looking down at her work she'd been ignoring, she shook her head hastily. "Nah," she said. "I was all done with it." Picking up the stack, she shoved it in her bag. She didn't even mind that she'd be working all night now that she was having lunch with a friend.

Derek looked skeptical, but didn't say anything more about it. "So how ya been, Penelope?" he asked. "I feel like I haven't seen you in awhile."

She laughed sheepishly. "That's funny," she said, "because you have been at my place an awful lot lately."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm always talking guy shit when I'm there," he said. "You and I haven't really talked much."

"Well…" Her voice trailed off as she tried to come up with something at least mildly interesting to say. She didn't know why, but she had a deep desire to impress him. She always got the feeling that most of Jason's friends didn't see her as an actual person, a separate entity from her husband. That wasn't how she wanted Derek to see her. "I'm getting ready to audition for a play downtown."

Derek's expressive brows rose. "You act?"

She felt her face flush hot pink. No one but Jason knew she liked acting. "Silly, I know," she said.

He shook his head vigorously. "No, not at all," he said. "What's the play about?"

"Well, it's about a woman who captures a serial killer," she said, observing his face for the reaction.

Sure enough, it was one of surprise again. His eyebrows shot upwards even higher. He laughed. "Shit, that's gotta have a hell of an ending to it."

She grinned. "It does."

"How _does_ it end?"

Winking at him, she wagged her finger at him. "If I get the part, you'll have to come and see," she said.

"In my line of work, I'd say that a play about serial killers would be just like being at work," he said, chuckling lightly.

Her shoulders sagged ever so slightly. "So…does that mean you wouldn't come?"

"Nah, I'll be there," he said. "I gotta see my boy Jason's face when you're up there keeping a serial killer hostage." He winked this time.

Penelope's chest felt tight at the mention of Jason, reminding her of the lie she had told him just moments before. It nearly ruined her mood. How could she have lied to him like this? She was just having lunch with a friend, after all. It wasn't as if she were cheating on him.

Faking a smile, Penelope met Derek's eyes. All of the sudden those feelings disappeared. Something about his eyes, a deep onyx that she knew multiple women probably had gotten lost in, was safe to her. They were enough to wash away her guilt, at least for the moment.

"I'll let you know if I get the part," she promised.


	6. Taking to the Stage

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Hello, all! Summer has begun and my job is all through a computer, so I don't have commute time to factor in. However, I will be taking a month-long trip to Europe at the end of May, so there may be a lull in posting during that time period (just a fair warning!). Thank you all very much for your reviews!**

"So how'd that date go with that woman you met at Jason's?" Rossi asked, swirling his scotch in his glass. "What was her name again?"

Derek rolled his eyes as he sipped his beer. "Savannah," he said dryly. "And it went fine. Don't think I wanna see her again. It wasn't bad, though. She's just not my type."

Rossi arched a brow at Derek. "How'd you get hooked up with her, anyway? If she isn't your type, why'd you go out with her?"

"Penelope said she was looking to go out with someone," Derek said. "More of a favor for a friend than actually being interested in her." He downed the rest of his beer bottle. "Why the sudden interest in my love life, Rossi?"

His partner stared at him for a long moment. "You went out with this woman because _Penelope_ asked you to?"

Derek scoffed. "If you haven't noticed, we've been pretty fuckin' busy at work," he said. "This was an easy way to get a date." He averted his eyes and flagged down the bartender. He seriously considered getting something stronger than just a beer.

The sole reason he had gone out with Savannah was because Penelope had practically begged him to. When she asked, her eyes shined with a hope that he couldn't help but indulge.

"I hate that people think she's sleeping around," Penelope had said. "Please go out with her. I think you'll really like her!"

He had not had the heart to refuse, especially after all the time they were spending together lately. There was no way he could say no.

"Morgan?"

When he looked up from the new drink he bought, he found Rossi staring at him with a probing gaze. Derek shrugged and said, "What?"

"You _know_ what," Rossi shot back.

" _No_ , I don't," Derek said.

Setting his glass of scotch down, Rossi leaned back on his bar stool. "I'm not going to debate this back and forth with you," he said. "I know I'm right. And I'm gonna tell you something. Take it as a piece of love advice."

" _You_ want to give me love advice?" Derek said with a slight chuckle. "The guy who's had three wives, and is currently back with the second one, who also happens to be his baby mama?" He laughed louder. "You've got to be kidding me."

Rossi ignored his comment about his girlfriend and daughter. "You need to admit what's going on," he said. "The first step to getting over it is to admit the problem."

"No idea what you're talking about," he said.

"Let me clue you in then, since you're being an ass," Rossi said. "You only went out with that woman because Penelope asked you to. You'd do anything for Penelope. You've been hung up on her for the last six months. Your friend's wife. You can't – "

Derek silenced Rossi with nothing but a look. "I've heard it all before, mostly from you. And Reid. He's been dancing around, trying to tell me in his own subtle way that I need to keep it in my pants. And Reid doesn't even date."

Rossi clapped him on the back, taking a quick sip of his scotch before going on. "What I'm trying to tell you, Morgan, is that you need to admit to yourself how you're feeling," he said. "I say this because you're my partner and you need to keep your head clear."

"What the fuck do I have to admit to myself?" Derek asked, incredulous. His annoyance was growing by the second. He glared at Rossi.

Rossi chuckled. "You need to admit that you've got some intense feelings for this woman," he said. Derek opened his mouth, ready to protest, but Rossi cut him off. "You need to admit it because if you don't, you're not going to be able to move on. That's what's most important for you to do."

Grumbling, Derek leaned back in his chair. Thoughts of Penelope started to run through his mind, washing over him until he felt like he was standing in her presence. He could picture her sunny smile in his mind with no faults in memory.

"See?" Rossi pointed at him. "You just dropped off the face of the planet for a second. You were thinking about Penelope again."

Glancing downward, Derek mumbled a response in the negative.

"Looking down and to the left," Rossi said, smugly. "Clear sign of lying."

Derek got up from his seat, ignoring the glass that was still half full. "Remind me to stop you from going to anymore profiling seminars," he said with a grunt. He threw several bills on the bar.

"I'm being serious, Morgan!" Rossi said. "Admit it so you can get a real girlfriend."

Clapping Rossi on the shoulder, Derek leaned into his ear to whisper, "If I want to get a girlfriend, I don't need to admit anything." Then he turned on his heel and left.

Rossi's laughter echoed in Derek's ears as he walked away.

XXXXX

Penelope laughed as she and Derek clinked portable coffee mugs on the bench in Rock Creek Park.

"Nothing like drinking spiked coffee on a Sunday morning," he chuckled, tilting his mug to his lips.

Jason had gone to a conference in New York and wouldn't be back until that evening. To make her Sunday pass by, Penelope had planned to call JJ; when her best friend was unavailable, she called Derek on a whim.

"Can't say I've tried it before," Penelope said, drinking her own spiked coffee. The strong brew combined with Maker's Mark burned its way down her throat, warming her belly. She glanced over at him to see an arched eyebrow. Her lips quirked into a smile. "Don't give me that look." His face didn't change, and she laughed again. "Is it really that surprising that I haven't spiked my caffeine before? I'm a purist."

Derek chuckled. "We're gonna have to change that," he said.

They sat in silence a few moments. Penelope stared at the fiery-colored leaves of fall. She smiled, thinking of how Jason would have loved seeing the trees on a morning like this, but he was locked in meetings on the island of Manhattan. So here she was on a bench, drinking spiked coffee with Derek and staring a small stream.

Eventually, though, the silence's weight grew too heavy. Penelope's chatty nature started to take over her. That and the desire to hear his voice more.

"So how'd your date with Savannah go?" she asked.

Derek didn't say anything for a long moment. He sipped his coffee once more. "Went fine," he said simply. "She's…nice."

"Just nice?" she asked. He couldn't have reacted in a more lukewarm way.

He shrugged and repeated himself. "She was nice. I guess."

"You g _uess_?" Penelope was utterly confused. Had he even met Savannah? She was perfectly nice…and beautiful…and smart. She was the package men like Derek Morgan wanted.

Derek shot her a sideways glance. "Do I look like I have a ton of free time?"

"You know, if you spent less time with Jason and I you might be able to go on another date with her," Penelope threw back.

He chuckled. "Why would I do that? You guys are way more fun." Shaking his head, he added, "But I don't wanna talk about her. How's the waiting going on that play you auditioned for? You said you thought it went well when you had it."

Penelope set her mug down on the bench before digging into her pocket. She produced a sheet of paper and handed it to Derek. She smiled. He unfolded the paper, a broad grin spreading over his face. "You got it?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah," she said.

"Congrats, Baby Girl!" he said, leaning over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks," she said. His lips left a warm imprint on her cheek, and she was acutely aware of it. She smiled at him, hoping to God her face wasn't blushing crimson right then. That small kiss on the cheek wasn't the first she had received from Derek, but it felt like it could have been. Each time his lips touched her skin, it reminded her of being a kid and having the first drops of rain hit her face.

"Let me know when your first show is," he said. "I wanna be there. I'll throw you a rose." He winked her.

Penelope stared at him for a moment, surprised he actually wanted to come see a performance when the time came. She figured he had been kidding when he would be there.

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "Something wrong?"

"I, uh, I didn't know you were serious about it," she said. "You…you meant it that you wanted to come see it?"

Derek shot her a lopsided grin. "Yeah," he said. "Definitely. I wouldn't lie about something like that."

Touched, Penelope smiled wider at him. "You really want to come," she said, pleased. Derek grinned at her, about to say more, but she stopped him. "I do have another question for you, before you try saying something else. Why…why do you spend so much time with me?"

"Why wouldn't I want to?" he asked.

She smiled. "Answering a question with another question isn't exactly helpful," she said.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked. He laughed. "You're my friend. Friends like to spend time together."

She stared at him for a long moment. "Yeah, but I mean why do you spend time with me when Jason isn't around?"

Derek took a small sip of his coffee, swallowing hard. Instantly, a guard went up in his eyes, one that masked him off from the rest of the world. Penelope felt bad for a moment, fearing she'd hurt his feelings. Turning in her seat, she set the mug down and reached over to touch his shoulder.

"I hope you didn't think I meant us hanging out was a bad thing," she said hastily. "Just…well, I'm not the most interesting person to hang out with, and –"

It was Derek's turn to cut her off. Placing a finger to her lips, he shot her a grin. "Penelope, I think you're overthinking this," he said. Humor twinkled behind his eyes. "I spend time with you without Jason around because you're a good person. You're _far_ from uninteresting."

Blinking at him several times, Penelope smiled shyly. "Well, I guess I'll just take your word for it," she said. "And I'll be sure to tell you when the performances are."

XXXXX

 _That Evening_

"Honey! I'm home!" Jason called, pushing his way into their apartment. His flight had gotten in later than he expected it would have, making him miss dinner. Despite this, it wasn't even nine thirty yet and all the lights were out in the apartment, save for the one above their kitchen stove.

He frowned. Penelope was never this quiet before ten in the evening, at least not when he had been gone on a trip.

Kicking his shoes off at the mat near the front door, he padded down the carpeted hall to their bedroom. The light was on, glowing faintly from beneath the crack in the door. He pushed the door open and smiled softly. Curled up beneath the blankets was Penelope. Her glasses remained on her face, and a book had fallen against her chest. Her lips were parted slightly, a soft snore escaping them as she twitched in her slumber.

Quietly as he could, Jason padded to her side. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her book from her chest to set on the bedside table. Next he took off her glasses. Penelope hardly stirred the whole time.

As he readied himself to turn off the light, he caught sight of printout with the words "Rehearsal Schedule" on the top. He arched a brow, picking up the sheet to get a closer look at it. On it were dates and details for a play rehearsal printed out from an email. He brightened. Penelope told him she had gone out for a play downtown. She must have just gotten news about her part.

But when he saw the date the email had been printed on, his spirit sank. It had been printed the day after he left for his trip.

She'd had the news for at least four days now, without saying a word to him about it in any of their text or phone conversations.

Setting the paper back down on the nightstand, Jason allowed his gaze to linger on Penelope another moment longer. Her breathing remained even, and strands of her blonde hair stuck out every which way from turning in her sleep. He knew every inch of this face in front of him, but when he looked at her now, knowing her felt like a familiarity that he was only half sure about.

Lately there had been a stunning lack of communication between them, and her not telling him about the play audition she had evidently aced was just one of many issues arising. Even though reason told him he should speak with her about it. They were husband and wife, after all. There could be no problem whatsoever; something terrible could be happening.

But a fear held him back. He knew it shouldn't have, but a question lingered in his mind that made his blood turn cold.

What if something _was_ wrong?


	7. A Friendly Request

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Greetings from Ireland! Sorry it has taken me so long to post this. I've been busy with my travels and haven't had the time to get work done. Thanks for your patience. I'll be trying to work on more chapters when I can. In the meantime, thank you for your reviews!**

Penelope hurriedly typed in several strands of code into her computer, but her fingers were shaking so much she kept messing up. She eventually had to take a break and rub her forehead. Play rehearsals were going later and later, and she never saw her husband. Jason was taking so many business trips that their relationship had been reduced to FaceTime on iPads and quick phone calls when they had a moment or two.

In fact, the only people she was really seeing outside of work and rehearsals were JJ and Derek.

Every other day Derek and she had lunch together to the point where she was ready to say Derek was one of her closest friends. They shared nearly everything. He listened to her in a way that felt familiar to her; it was as if she were talking with Jason before they got married.

She put her head in her hands, trying unsuccessfully to push the memories from her head that threatened to consume her.

" _What's up with you?" Derek asked, pushing her shoulder gently as they sat at a corner table in a local pub. "You're awfully quiet."_

 _Penelope's cheeks grew hot with a blush. She knew she looked horrible. Rehearsal had just got out at quarter to midnight. Jason was gone yet again. And she couldn't stop staring at Derek…ever. Even when he wasn't there, she couldn't keep her mind off him._

" _I'm just tired," she mumbled, putting her beer to her lips to sip the foamy beverage._

 _Derek observed her more closely. "You're lying."_

 _She glared at him. "Oh, yeah? What makes you think that?"_

" _You looked down and to the left," he said smugly. She stared at him blankly and he elaborated. "A little something my partner threw out there about when someone is lying."_

" _Ah," she said, "that explains it. The great David Rossi, with a startling amount of accolades from the city for his_ expert _detective work, speaks."_

 _Derek shook his head and leaned forward to tweak her nose. "Don't avoid the subject."_

 _Penelope remained silent. Trusting Derek came naturally to her, but in this instance she knew she couldn't. The risks were too great._

 _With a sigh, Derek took her hand. His palm was warm against hers, but she could tell there was no motive behind his actions. "If you ever need to talk about this, I'm here. You don't need to talk about it. I just want you to know…I'm here."_

Penelope's eyes burned. She couldn't keep her feelings at bay, even as she tried to suppress them. Derek affected her too much, so much to the point her stomach churned every time she saw him. The excited feelings melded with the emotion betrayal to Jason and made her physically ill.

A knock sounded from the door to her office, startling her. She turned around in her seat. Standing in her doorway was Jason, a broad grin stretched across his face. In his hands was a bag of takeout food.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said. "Brought you some lunch."

Rising from her seat, Penelope went forward to kiss her husband on the cheek. "Oh," she said. "Thanks, Jujube."

He touched her cheek, pressing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. The kiss shocked Penelope somewhat. They hadn't had time in the last two months to be intimate, and this was full of intense emotions that she wasn't prepared for. She tried faking it, but her half of the kiss fell flat.

She knew Jason felt that flatness, too.

Uncomfortably, he pulled away and allowed her room to clear more space for them to sit down and eat. She smiled widely. "Thanks for bringing me food, hon," she murmured, opening the box that contained a Caesar salad. "I'm starving!" She took the plastic fork and dug in.

Jason gave her a smile. "I'm glad you're happy with it."

An awkward silence fell over them in that moment. She swallowed hard, trying to think of what to say to make it so they could get back to what they were before. "So what was the surprise for?" she blurted out. She winked. "Not that I'm complaining, but you did come out of nowhere."

He smiled, taking a sip from his to-go cup of coffee. "Well, part of why I'm here is because I needed to tell you I won't be able to go to our music festival this weekend."

Penelope stopped mid-chew. She set her fork down. "You can't go?" she said. "But we've had those tickets for months because we knew I wouldn't have any rehearsal this weekend! You said you would be able to go because you got work off!"

"I'm sorry," Jason said, apologetically. "I'm so sorry. I really wanted to go. The trip came up out of nowhere."

She smiled, touching his arm. "Oh, Jason, it's fine," she said. "We don't have to – "

Jason leaned in and kissed her swiftly. "No! You absolutely need to go still!" he said. "You'll just go with someone else. We'll find you another person to go with!"

Blinking at him, she couldn't find an answer. "Umm," she said, "well baby, I don't think this is really something I can get JJ to go with me to. First, it's this weekend and I don't think she'd be able to get a babysitter this soon. Plus, it really isn't her scene."

Jason thought for a moment. "What about Derek?" he asked, snapping his fingers. "I know for a fact he'd love to go with you. He's down for this sort of thing."

Penelope stuttered, unsure of where to find the words to describe how much she could _not_ have Derek be the one to go with her. "I – I don't think I should go with him," she said.

Her husband frowned. "I thought you liked Derek," he said.

She hastily shook her head. "No, it's not that I don't like him," she said. "I…" Her voice trailed off as she struggled to find excuses for why Derek could not be the one she went with to the music festival.

Jason grinned. "Alright, I'll just give him a call," he said, pulling his phone out and dialing Derek.

"Jason!" she said, reaching for his phone as he laughed and waited for Derek to answer.

"Hey, Derek!" Penelope shot her husband a glare as he greeted his friend on the phone. "Listen, have to ask you something. It's a huge favor, but can you go with Penelope to something this weekend? I got called in on a trip this weekend, and we have tickets to this – " Jason paused for a moment, as if listening to something Derek was saying over the phone. "Yeah, yeah it's on Saturday. You don't work then?" His face broadened into a grin. "Awesome! I'll let her know right now."

Jason hung up and turned to Penelope. He tweaked her nose. She wrinkled her nose back at him and narrowed her eyes. "I take it he's coming with me?" she said, arching a brow at him.

"My boy will take good care of ya," Jason said, leaning forward to kiss her again square on the lips.

XXXXX

 _Saturday Night_

"Sorry you got roped into this," Penelope said to Derek as she opened to door to her apartment to let him in.

Derek laughed at her as she scurried back inside, fixing an earring as she went. "I wouldn't really call it getting 'roped in,'" he said. "Happy to come along." He leaned against the kitchen counter while Penelope ran down the hall to find something.

"Help yourself to a drink if you need one!" she called. "I'm just grabbing my shoes and throwing on some makeup."

"You don't need any!" he replied.

She came back to poke her head around the corner with an arched brow. "Shoes or makeup?"

"Makeup," he said, not seeing any reason to joke. He swallowed hard. He couldn't stop the next words from coming out of his mouth. "You look beautiful without it."

Penelope's eyes went wide. She blinked several times, then gave a nervous laugh. "Well, thank you, flattering soul. I'm still putting it on, but that was very sweet."

He winked. "Well, you're gonna do what you want. I'll be here when you're ready."

XXXXX

"This is how you choose to spend your free time?" Derek asked as he and Penelope walked through the booths at the music festival. "At one of these things?"

Penelope laughed and nudged him with her elbow. "Jason got me into it when we were in college," she said. "He goes with me to renaissance faires, so I go with him to these."

"The joys of marriage," he commented dryly.

"You have to do stuff like this in marriage," she said. "Equal partnership, putting up with little quirks, the works."

He took a sip of his beer and chuckled. "Well, I guess I wouldn't know much about it," he said. "Seeing as I've never been married."

She glanced over at him. "Have you ever thought about it?" she asked.

Shrugging, he lied, "Nah. Never found the right girl."

"Oh, really?" she said. "Well, I think you're lying." She stopped them at a bench to sit down. She grinned.

He stopped and arched a brow at her. "What makes you say that?" he asked.

"You looked down and to the left," she said simply. She shrugged in fake nonchalance. "I learned from the best."

Derek laughed at her smug expression that she had found a way through his lie. "Oh, yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah," she said, sipping her drink. "So?"

He blinked at her several times, remaining silent. He knew exactly what she was waiting for him to say, but he hoped if he stared at her long enough she might just drop the subject. Clearing his throat, he asked, "So what?"

" _So_ …who is she?" Penelope laughed. "C'mon, you didn't really think I was going to let you off the hook on this did you?"

Leaning back in his seat, Derek rubbed the back of his head. "It's not really much of a story," he said, suddenly growing uncomfortable as memories started to assault him. "I, uh, don't think you'd really wanna hear it."

Penelope tapped her chin. "Well, now I'm intrigued!" she said. "You have to tell me about this mystery woman of yours! You went out with Savannah, so you clearly aren't seeing her. What's the dealio?"

"I…" He averted his eyes for a moment, unable to face the idea of telling Penelope about his complete and utter foolishness from being a kid in college. But when he finally looked back at her, there was no hint of judgment in her eyes, just a genuine curiosity. "Her name was Kate. She…I met her in college. We were together for about two years, and I thought we would be together – as cliché as it sounds – forever. I loved everything about her: the way she made me feel, the way she laughed…the whole package."

Penelope smiled. "She sounds great," she said.

"Yeah, well that's the problem with love at first sight: you think you'll be with a person forever, but really what ends up happening is you don't know the person as well as you thought you did," he said.

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"On our two year anniversary I cam home and found her in bed with another teammate of mine and Jason's." He shook his head. "All in all, I felt like a complete idiot for thinking something like that could work out."

"Like what?" Penelope asked.

"Something like love at first sight," he said.

"But at my dinner party you said you believed in love at first sight."

He chuckled and took a long swig of his beer, finishing it off. "Ah, I said I _believe_ in it, not that it works out," he said. "There's definitely a difference." He paused to laugh louder, but then he saw the look on her face. "What is it?"

"I'm really sorry, Derek," she said. Tears swam on the surface of her eyes.

"Don't be," he said. "She isn't worth it."

Penelope shook her head. "No, but the way you felt about her is. You really loved this girl, and she threw that away for something stupid like a fling."

Derek ran his finger around the rim of his glass, thinking. "That's the sad part, though," he said. "She didn't throw it away for nothing. Josh and she ended up getting married. They've got three kids, and they're sickeningly happy. So really, it was just me reading everything wrong." He smiled at her gently. Her eyes remained misty. "Why do you look so sad about this, Baby Girl? It's really not a big deal."

"Because someone hurt you," she said. "I don't like it when people hurt my friends."

He shook his head. "She hurt me, but it's in the past. There's no reason I need to keep thinking about it, not when there are other women out there for me. I'll find the _one_ at some point."

"So even after that you're still looking for your soulmate?" Penelope asked.

Derek smiled. "Yeah," he said. "And I'll find her."

At that, Penelope visibly swallowed hard. "Well, I hope you find her."

He didn't mind so much that she was skeptical of what he was saying or that he believed in love at first sight. As long as she didn't suspect his feelings for her, he would be safe, and so would his secret.


	8. Nearing Catastrophe

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Here is the next one of this story. I haven't been as go-go since being in Germany, so I've been able to get more written. This story won't be a ton longer, so that means a few other outlined stories that I have will soon be coming to fruition in story form. Thank you so much for your reviews!**

"Well, thank you for walking me home," Penelope said, nudging Derek in the side as they walked along the sidewalk toward her apartment. "I was sad Jason couldn't be there, but it was a lot of fun to go with you." She smiled.

Derek nodded, smiling. "My pleasure."

The evening was slightly chilly, the night breeze rustling her hair in her face as they strolled along. She wrapped her flimsy shawl around her shoulders, but she still shivered.

"You cold?" he asked.

She shrugged, giggling. "Eh, I'll be fine," she said. "We're only a few blocks from my apartment."

Laughing, he slid his arms out of his jacket. "Here," he said, placing his jacket around her shoulders. "Take this."

The weight of his jacket rested on her shoulders, warm from his body still. It smelled of musk and something spicy she couldn't identify. She wanted to drown in it. Her heart began to race, and her fingers unconsciously wrapped around the worn leather to pull it tighter around her body.

"Thanks," she murmured, feeling the blood rise in her cheeks. "I appreciate it."

He gave her a small smile, and they kept walking. They stayed quiet for another few minutes, and she started to wonder at his silence. Why was he not saying anything? Had she said or done something to upset him? Sure, he had offered her his jacket, but any nice guy would. It was the expected thing for a man to do. But he had hardly said anything.

"Are…" she started to say before she could stop herself. The fear of whatever his answer could be weighed down on her so she could not even finish her sentence. She gulped.

Derek chuckled. "'Are' what?" he asked.

Penelope swallowed even harder. How did her motor mouth get her into trouble so much?

"Well…?" he prodded.

She shook her head. "Well, I can't tell, but you seem a little… _off_ ," she said. "Are you okay?" She glanced at him, scrutinizing every facial detail she could.

He laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm alright," he said. "I'm just thinking."

Arching a brow, she asked, "Thinking about what?"

Derek smiled at her, chuckling. He leaned over to place an arm around her shoulder. "You're a persistent little thing, aren't you?" he asked. He laughed harder. "That's why we're friends, though."

"You need to answer the question," Penelope said.

"Well, Little Miss Persistent, if it makes you feel any better, I'm just thinking about Kate," he said.

Penelope froze inside her own body, even though she was still walking forward. "What about her?" she asked in a stiff voice.

"Just how glad I am that I have people like you who care about me enough to tell me I deserve better than someone who cheated on me," he said.

They kept walking. Derek's voice contained so much feeling that it stirred in her emotions that had the ability to make her stomach quake. She smiled over at him, unconsciously relaxing into his embrace. "Well, you _do_ deserve better," she said, her voice coming out more passionate than she intended. "I don't care if that was her damn soul mate she slept with, she still cheated on you."

Once again, Derek didn't say anything. They kept walking until they ended up in front of Penelope's apartment building. He released her from his arm so that she could stand in front of him. Smiling, he tweaked her nose. Somehow, even with just a tap of his finger on her nose and the charming white of his smile, he managed to make her feel like the safest person in the world.

No one, not even Jason, who knew her best, could make her feel that way.

She nodded to the apartment building. "Well, this is me," she said, not making any moves to go inside just yet. She moved to face him, smiling. They watched one another, their eyes never leaving the other's gaze.

"Thanks for listening to me tonight," he said, rubbing her shoulder in a friendly gesture. "I haven't talked about her in a long ass time."

"Just telling you like it is," she said, winking at him. She softened a moment, still not breaking eye contact. Her heart was brimming with words she wanted to say. Her tongue could hardly pick the most perfect ones, but she grasped for some and let them free. "You deserve so much in this world, Derek. Don't let someone cheating on you like that get in your way of being happy."

Derek stared at her a moment. She felt his eyes on hers all the way to her very core. A brisk breeze flared up, rustling her hair in her eyes. She went to move the strands of her hair from her eyes, but before she could move the strands, Derek's fingers gently brushed them aside. Her breath caught in her chest as the very tips of his fingers bumped her cheek.

Once he moved her hair to the side and they could see each other clearly, he said, "Thanks again for letting me come with you."

She inched closer to him, nodding. "Yeah, of course," she said. Her legs shook, and she reached out to grasp his arm, nails digging into the fabric of his button up shirt.

Derek leaned in where she could now feel his breath on her face. Penelope's blood raced with each of his exhales against her skin. She became acutely aware of everything within the space – or lack thereof – between them. His fingers touched the small of her back at the same time as another gust of chilly wind blew through them. She didn't even feel the breeze, though.

All of the sudden, before their lips touched however, the blaring of a car horn broke out. Penelope jumped away, her high falling away as she realized what she had almost done. Derek looked in the direction of the car horn, and she backed away with her mouth agape. When he looked back at her, she swallowed hard. Every ounce of warmth left her body, leaving in its place the cold dread of realization of what she had almost done.

Pulling his jacket from her shoulders, she gave it back. "Umm, good night," she mumbled, turning to push her way into the apartment building.

XXXXX

Penelope lay in her bed, wide awake and blinking at the ceiling. Two nights ago, she and Derek had walked back to her apartment, and two nights ago, she had almost kissed him.

"What's going on with you, Garcia?" she demanded of herself, aloud in her darkened bedroom. The old Garcia would never have almost kissed another man. The old Garcia was madly in love with Jason, her wonderful husband who understood her in a way no one else did.

But that Penelope Garcia was before she met Derek Morgan.

Rolling over onto her side, she stared out the window of her bedroom at the lights of Washington DC. She tried desperately to focus on Jason, going so far as to pull his pillow from his side of the bed and inhale his scent. The scent of her husband's Axe shampoo filled her nose, but every time she thought of Jason, his face started to morph into Derek's.

Nothing would make change that Jason was her best friend, but something was trying to pull her away from him. Not Derek. Derek himself wasn't doing anything consciously to try and "steal" her away. But some metaphysical force that she could not explain was putting up a damn good fight to alter her feelings. Common sense and reason told her this was her trying to blame her problems on something other than her own choices, but she couldn't imagine herself actually doing something like…well, like this.

As she lay in bed, tossing and turning for the next few hours, she searched and searched for an answer to her behavior and her feelings. For anything else, she would have confided in Jason, but there was no way she could tell him about her attraction to Derek. Frustrated, she leaned over to her bedside table and picked up her cellphone.

Even though it was nearing two o'clock in the morning, and Jason was due back on a redeye flight, she needed to talk to someone.

"Hullo?" a groggy voice answered after several rings.

"Jayje?" she murmured quietly.

"Penelope, there better be a good reason you called me at two o'clock in the morning," JJ said, clearly just now waking up.

Sighing, Penelope flopped her head back against the pillows and groaned. "JJ, I promise I would not have called if it wasn't important," she said. "I'm having a conundrum."

JJ groaned. "Okay, sweetie," she said. "I'm awake. Shoot."

"I just…I just don't know what's happening to me," she murmured. "I've got no idea how to fix what's been going on."

Her friend chuckled. "Um, well, I would give you advice on how to fix what's been going on, but you haven't really told me much."

Penelope rubbed her forehead. "It's everything. I just don't feel like I'm settling into this married life well," she said.

"Say what?" JJ asked. "You and your Jujube, Jason? You don't think you're settling in well?"

Biting her lip, Penelope nodded to herself. "I don't _know_ why," she said. Tears formed in her eyes at how she was feeling and the fact those feelings were not toward her husband. "I just…I just see Jason, and I don't feel the way I felt before we got married. Do you think there's something wrong with me that makes me a bad wife?"

"Nuh-uh," JJ said, a warning in her tone. "Don't you even think about going there. There is nothing wrong with you that makes you a 'bad wife.' That's just ludicrous."

Penelope sniffled. "Jayje, I don't feel the way about him that I did before we got married," she said. She choked on her voice. "I…"

"Penelope, if it doesn't feel right, you can't _make_ it feel right," JJ said. "If I've learned anything from being your Yoda all these years, it's that you're going to try and make something work, even if it hurts you. You want to spare someone's feelings, but it isn't always going to work perfectly. Emotions are messy, and if marriage isn't working, then you can't force it to."

"Jason's my best friend, though," Penelope said, wiping her eyes. "I can't…I _won't_ hurt him."

JJ sighed with sympathy. "You may have to," she murmured.

XXXXX

After arriving earlier than he expected, Jason quietly tip-toed down the hallway of his apartment to the bedroom. He completely expected Penelope to be asleep, but instead, as he stood before the closed door, he heard soft sniffles on the other side.

"I just don't feel like I'm settling into this married life well."

The amount of pain in Penelope's voice as she said those words struck Jason to the core. His gut clenched. It was exactly what he feared. Penelope was unhappy.

He guessed from the half of the conversation he could hear that his wife was talking with JJ; there was no one else he knew other than himself she would speak this way with. A jagged shard struck his heart as he listened on.

"I just…I just see Jason, and I don't feel the way I felt before we got married. Do you think there's something wrong with me that makes me a bad wife?" she asked.

 _No,_ he wanted to shout. _You're not doing anything wrong! What am_ I _doing wrong?_

Rubbing his forehead, he waited and waited for the end of the conversation. His heart cleaved in two when he heard, "Jason's my best friend, though. I can't…I _won't_ hurt him."

Unable to listen any longer, Jason shuffled back down the hall without a sound. He plopped himself onto the living room sofa, rubbing his temples. He bemoaned how far his marriage had fallen, wondering, praying, something could revive it.

Jason loved Penelope more than every breath in his body, but based on the tone in her voice, he didn't know if that love would be enough to bring her back to him.


	9. Giving In

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Here we go with the next one! Sorry about the wait. This one's got something I think you'll be happy with, and then something a little bit sad. Thanks so much for the reviews, and I'll try to get the next one out sooner!**

Derek sat at in his office, trying to wrap up the rest of his case files before he could go home. It was nearing nine in the evening, and he was only halfway finished. He'd be finished just fine if his concentration weren't painfully off kilter.

Several weeks had passed since the music festival he had gone to with Penelope, and while things had remained normal for the most part, the almost-kiss they had shared lingered in his mind. It invaded his thoughts everywhere he was, at crime scenes, working out at the gym, getting beers with Rossi and Reid. He couldn't handle it. Every time he closed his eyes he could smell her perfume and feel the heat of her body close to him.

"You're _still_ working on that pile?"

Derek glanced up from his file and chewing on the tip of his pen to find Rossi in the office, standing on the other side of the desk. He hadn't even noticed his partner approach him.

"If you don't have any left of your own, feel free to help me," Derek muttered, gesturing to the pile.

Rossi held up both his hands, laughing. "Nope," he said. "I'm meeting up with my lady, and we're spending the night in." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "We're going to have some alone time, if you know what I mean."

Despite his dark mood, Derek couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Get home to her then," he said, "and quite bothering me." When his friend didn't move immediately, he sighed. "What now?"

"You just keep yourself out of trouble this weekend," Rossi said. "Go on a date. Get laid. Lord knows you haven't had that happen in awhile."

Narrowing his eyes, Derek glared at Rossi. "Time for you to fuck off now," he muttered, returning half his attention to the files in front of him.

All Rossi did was laugh as he strutted out of Derek's office.

Rubbing his temples, Derek leaned back in his chair and tried desperately to center himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, contemplating whether or not he should head to the gym to blow off some steam by taking out his aggression on a punching bag. Or maybe Rossi was right; maybe he did need to get laid. He was pretty positive he wouldn't be very appealing to any woman with the lovesick state he was in.

"Get a god damn grip over yourself," he growled to himself. Rising to his feet, he went around his desk to head for the coffeepot out in the nearly deserted squad room. As he left the office though, he ran smack into someone he did not expect to see.

"Oh!" she squeaked.

He smiled, even though he was somewhat confused. "Hey, Penelope," he said. "What are you doing here so late?" Penelope's eyes went wide, but she pushed past him into his office. Concerned, Derek followed her in, closing the door behind him. Something was clearly off. He cleared his throat. "Is – is everything okay?"

She turned to face him, wringing her hands together with anxious energy that she couldn't contain. Smoothing her hair back, she shook her head. "No, everything is not okay," she said, her tone coming out sharp and cutting.

"Uh…" he began. Now he was really confused. She wasn't continuing, and he was having a difficult time reading what the problem was. "Okay? What happened?"

"It's not what happened," she protested. "It's what's _happening_. This can't keep going on. It's wrong, and I can't keep doing it. I'm a nice person, but I won't be if this keeps going."

Running his hand over his head, Derek shook his head. "Penelope, I have no – "

She cut him off, though. "I can't feel this way, Derek," she said, desperation in her voice. "I'm married to this wonderful guy. He's my best friend, and this is just hurting him. _You_ make me feel something that I shouldn't feel. We can't keep doing this because it's going to destroy Jason, and I _won't_ do that." She shook her head, this time angrily. "So, this is done. Whatever it is."

Then she turned to stride out of the room, leaving Derek in a confused state of emotions. Or, at least _almost_ left him in a confused state. Before he could even open his mouth to question or call after her, she came back toward him. Only this time instead of saying something, she reached up and grabbed his face. She pulled him toward her, crashing their lips together in a fiery mesh of scraping teeth and dancing tongues.

His confusion evaporated the second their lips touched, and he wasted no time in pulling her toward him. Her body felt _right_ in his arms, melting into him so that they become connected in a pure physical connection that he couldn't explain with words.

Both of them fought for control, but his strength was enough that he was able to push her back against the wall. They landed with a _thud_ , and she moaned low in her throat. Penelope's nimble fingers began fiddling with his buttons, going between pulling the fabric from his pants and unbuttoning his shirt. His whole body was a livewire, and the second her fingers trailed across the skin of his chest he exploded. His lips trailed down her neck, and she threw her head back to allow him more access to her throat.

"Penelope," he breathed when his lips broke contact with her skin.

She didn't say anything as she pulled his face back toward hers to kiss him harder. His hands trailed up her hips to her breasts. They filled his hands, and he squeezed hard, eliciting a moan from her. She gave him a gentle push toward his desk, making him laugh slightly.

Before his hands made it too far between her thighs, though, a frantic knocking sounded from his office door. Both of them snapped out of the fiery kiss, breathing hard from the passion they'd just sprung out of. Tucking his shirt back into his pants and rebuttoning it, he went toward the frantic knocking. He opened the door slightly so as not to let anyone see Penelope behind him.

His gut dropped when he saw who it was.

"Jason?" he asked, exiting his office and closing the door behind him. "Jason, man what are you doing here?"

His friend didn't answer right away. Derek could smell alcohol on his friend's breath, just as he saw the bloodshot gleam in his eyes. Instead, Jason stumbled against the wall. Derek went forward to offer him support. "Alright, man," he said, guiding Jason toward an empty desk that belonged to another officer. "Sit here. I'm gonna get you some coffee. We gotta sober you up a little bit."

Jason rubbed his red face and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He didn't say anything as he nodded. Glancing at his office door once more, Derek started for the squad room's coffeepot, hoping his exhilaration from kissing Penelope would be quelled by the gut-wrenching guilt he felt.

XXXXX

Penelope weaved her fingers into her hair after Derek left his office. She felt nauseous. She'd distinctly heard Derek say Jason's name.

 _Oh my God, what have I done_? she thought to herself, starting to pace. She couldn't handle the guilt she was feeling, but what was worse was that she didn't know if she actually felt guilty _enough_. Kissing Derek had been the most exhilarating experience of her life, and she wasn't even exaggerating when she thought that. Her nerves became alive when their lips touched.

His taste, his scent, his touch. Everything had been perfect, even more than she had imagined when she'd fantasized about him in months past. The speed with which her desires took over her body and obliterated her impulse control almost frightened her.

Quietly, she headed toward the door, wondering what her husband and Derek were talking about.

"Alright, man here's some coffee," Derek's voice sounded. Jason mumbled something unintelligible in response. "Think you can tell me what's going on? This isn't something you would normally do. Do you, uh, do you know where Penelope is?"

Jason's words were slurred when he spoke. "She said she was heading to JJ's for drink," he said. "But…but that's not what's wrong. I think I'm losing her, Derek."

Derek cleared his throat. "Why do you say that?"

"I heard her talking on the phone with JJ a few weeks ago," Jason mumbled. His voice trailed off for a moment, but she could plainly make out the despair and confusion in it. Her heart cracked in her chest. "She thinks there's something wrong with her, and she's afraid of hurting me. I…I think she's found someone else, Derek. I think she – she doesn't love me anymore."

Tears fell silently down her cheeks. She didn't breathe, even ignoring the need for air when her lungs began to burn with need of it. Neither Derek nor Jason spoke for a long time, leaving them on the edge of a knife that if disturbed would shatter the stillness of the moment and throw them all into emotional chaos.

"I – I don't think – " Derek tried to say.

"Maybe it's this job?" Jason speculated. "Maybe I'm gone too much, and she doesn't feel like that's what marriage should be. I mean, it wasn't a problem before we got married, but maybe she thought it would change. I just wish I knew what I'm doing wrong."

Derek cleared his throat. "Uh, Jason?" he asked. "Have you tried asking her what's wrong? Like really talking to her?"

Jason seemed to choke on his voice before he could respond, further cracking Penelope's heart in her chest.

"I can't ask her," he sputtered, sounding as if he were in a mess of drunken tears.

"Well…why not?"

Her husband remained quiet for a long moment, so long Penelope feared he wouldn't answer at all. When he finally did, she almost let out an audible cry. "Because the moment I do ask her, it becomes real. And I can't stand that I'm the one who's hurting her."


	10. Confession

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **AN**

Once Derek had helped Jason into cab and sent him home, he returned to his office. He opened the door, almost barreling into Penelope as she tried hurriedly to flee from him. Tears stained her cheeks, her mouth agape as she ran into him. Her hands bumped into his chest as she brought them up, almost as if to shield herself from him.

"Penelope," he breathed. Unconsciously he grabbed her hand.

She shook her head as soon as his voice came out. "No," she said, snatching her hand back from him. "No, no. Let me go." Her eyes met his with a fire unlike one he had ever seen in her eyes lit up his gaze, and he took a step back. She stared at him, her jaw set in a tight line and every muscle on the defense. That gaze paralyzed him. Did she hate him, did she want him gone? He couldn't really tell. All he knew was something about that look scared him. She held that look for another moment, then pushed by him, breezing toward the door while ignoring the looks of two of the officers that she was rushing past.

For a moment, Derek couldn't move. He was still caught up in the look in her eyes. The last few months he knew he'd been walking a dangerous line with how he felt about Penelope. He'd broken the bond of a friendship with someone he cared about and trusted. In Derek's mind, he'd committed one of the worst atrocities a friendship could go through. There were few things worse he could have done to Jason.

And yet, he had managed to do something worse. He dragged Penelope down with him, someone else he cared about…loved.

Without another thought, Derek hurried after her. The only thought in his head was to catch her, to repair everything he had done, and to tell her how he felt. It was the biggest mess of emotional substance he had found himself in ever. He needed to fix it.

"Penelope!" he called, pushing out the front door and onto the street. She kept walking down the street, seemingly ignoring him. "Penelope, stop!" He caught up to her easily, grasping her arm.

"No!" she cried, squeezing her eyes shut. "No. Derek, let me go."

He shook his head, keeping his grip on her arm. "I can't do that," he said. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, but somehow he kept himself standing upright and completely still. "Penelope, what just happened – "

" _Cannot_ happen again," she snapped, using her full strength to rip her arm from his grasp. "What we just did was wrong on so many levels!" Brand new tears filled her eyes. "I am married to the most wonderful guy, and I betrayed his trust. With one of his closest friends of all people! And you saw him in there. He's a mess. He thinks _he_ did something wrong." She sniffled. "And it's me who is hurting him."

Derek nodded. "I know," he said. "I know, but I can't ignore what I'm feeling." Her eyes went wide, and for a moment it looked as if she were about to respond. He cut her off before she had the chance. "I have a hard time trusting anyone, and when I'm friends with someone I try to give them everything. Betraying Jason's trust is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But…but when I think about how I feel about you I forget about that. Nothing else matters." He swallowed hard, hoping she could see the sincerity in his eyes. "When I told you I believed in love at first sight, I meant it. What I didn't tell you was… it happened with you."

Biting her lip, Penelope looked down at the sidewalk and tried to keep her composure. Derek could tell she was bursting with words that she wanted to set free, but her tongue remained paralyzed in her mouth. When she looked back up, he could tell exactly what she had to say, though.

She felt the same as he did. She didn't want to feel that way, but she did.

"I…Derek, I can't," she said in a small voice. "He's my husband. I won't hurt him." Ashamed, she bent her head. "Anymore than I already have anyway."

Pain, even more than that of the pain he'd felt when Kate had left him, filled his heart. Such intensity was not familiar to Derek. With a sigh, he took one of her hands – making sure it was the right one so as not to disturb her wedding ring – and kissed her palm.

"I understand," he murmured. Looking her in the eye, he put his hand beneath her chin and tilted it upward so he had a direct view of her brandy colored eyes. "I'm never going to forget you."

She saw this was his goodbye, and she grasped his hand back. "I won't forget you either. Not ever."

XXXXX

That evening, after Penelope returned home, she stared at herself in the mirror for a long while. She had yet to work up the courage to go into the bedroom with Jason. She couldn't; not with the imprint of Derek's lips still burned into hers.

For almost hour after parting ways with Derek, she had wandered through Washington DC. She allowed the weight of her betray and of Derek's betrayal to fester a little while longer, knowing that she needed to find a way to apologize to her husband. But she was too cowardly. She knew she would never be able to tell him of what had happened.

Strangely enough, as she sat on the couch, she found her eyes dry. There were no tears left, and she knew part of her had decided she was no longer going to let herself weep for something like this.

With pain in her heart, Penelope allowed her mind to drift to Derek one last time before she rose to go to bed. She recalled every detail of his face, knowing that this would be the last time she was going to willingly allow herself to think on it. She thought of his strong face, his expressive eyebrows, his kind dark eyes. She loved him, and she loved him with an intensity that she would never feel again.

But that was not going to be something she could say again.

Exhaustion finally weighed upon her enough that she needed to sleep. She wrapped her arms around herself and took hesitant steps to her bedroom. When she pushed the door to the room open, she found Jason asleep on their bed. He'd left the curtains of their room open, and the lights of the outside buildings bathed him in a soft light.

Without even taking off her clothes, Penelope went to the side of the bed and placed a kiss on Jason's forehead. Tentatively thrusting Derek from her mind, Penelope crawled into bed beside her husband, kissed the back of his neck as she curled into him, and fell into a sleep heavy with regrets.


	11. Realization

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Thanks all for the reviews! I really appreciate it. This story won't be too much longer, then we'll be onto the next one :)**

"Morgan, you god damn fool!" Rossi bellowed, striding into Derek's office without so much as a knock.

Derek looked up at his partner, arching a brow. "I take it you found out about my request."

Rossi slammed the door behind him. "Hell yes I did! What the hell are you thinking? As soon as possible? What the fuck is going on with you?" Derek didn't answer immediately, and Rossi's eyes narrowed to slits. "This is about that woman, your friend's wife. She's the reason you're trying to get the hell out of dodge."

"No lying to a budding profiler," Derek commented wryly.

Rossi rolled his eyes. "Did something happen between the two of you? Did you sleep with her?"

 _No, but damn I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to,_ Derek thought to himself.

"No, I didn't sleep with her," he said.

"Then what's the fucking problem that's making you want to leave?" Rossi demanded, his voice quieting. "You haven't seen her in weeks, and you've only been seeing Jason outside of his apartment."

"Rossi, I fell in love with her," Derek snapped, losing some of his composure. There was no other way of saying it. He couldn't deny it anymore, not to himself or to others.

Rossi was quiet for a long moment before speaking once again. His next question shocked Derek completely, though. "Well, does she love you back?"

"No," Derek grumbled, thinking that was the immediate answer. But then again, it couldn't be, could it? He'd seen the look in her eyes, the desperate desire to hide the torrent of feeling she kept bottled inside herself. He was wrong. Quietly, he corrected himself. "…yes." Without looking at Rossi, he added, "But that doesn't matter. She married Jason. She said he's her best friend."

Rossi sighed deeply, his fatherly sigh that meant a lecture was headed Derek's way. "Morgan, Morgan," he said, as if teaching a pupil. "That does matter. If she loves you, she loves you. One thing I've learned from finally getting back together with Joy's mother is that you can't deny when you have real feelings for someone. There's a connection there that ties you together that you aren't going to get rid of by trying to blink it away." He shook his head. "So don't try to by running the fuck away."

There was nothing he felt he could say, but then there was a lot he felt he could say. There was the part of him that knew damn well he couldn't run away, that to leave Penelope would be the worst decision of his life. But the other part knew he should stick to what he was used to and run away when human connection became too much to bear.

"I have to do this, Dave," Derek said. "I saw how upset she was about the idea of hurting Jason. I can't do that to her, and I _definitely_ can't hurt Jason. He's a good guy; I'm just the asshole who fell in love with his wife."

Shaking his head, Rossi said, "You're looking at this all wrong. If she's in love with you, it's already going to hurt him. After he came into the station, wasted off his ass, he was hurt. He may not know it's you she's in love with, but he knows he's not the one she wants."

Derek shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said. "It's official. I'm getting transferred to Chicago where I'm going to be closer to my family and try to find another girl to make me feel the way Penelope does."

"You're not going to," Rossi said. "That's not how this works. She's one of a kind."

 _That she is,_ Derek thought.

"I'm going to have to try. I leave in a week."

XXXXX

Jason looked up from his paper to glance at Penelope as she finished up making them breakfast. She turned around briefly, as if feeling his eyes on her. She winked and gave him a small smile.

"Food's almost ready," she said. "Give me just a minute."

He nodded, smiling right back. "Sounds good, sweetheart." When she turned around, though, he didn't look away. The last few weeks had been markedly better in his marriage. Penelope was brighter, more like her usual animated self. She laughed with him, cuddled up beside him at night, and she no longer looked like a secret was desperate to burst forth from her lungs.

But there was a distinct lack of her usual Penelope-dazzle in her eyes. She went through the motions and smiles that were a part of who she was, but it didn't quite pierce Jason the way it once had. He doubted some moments that she was the same passionate woman he'd married.

When he saw she was about to turn around, he averted his eyes and looked back down at his paper. He didn't want her to know he was any the wiser about her farce.

"All set, Jujube," she murmured, putting his plate down in front of him.

He looked up at her with a grin. "Smells delicious," he said, setting his paper aside and getting ready to dig in. Penelope sat down beside him, placing a kiss on his cheek. He grinned at her. "Thanks so much for cooking, sweetheart."

Penelope's eyes met his, and once again he was struck by how little those eyes resembled the ones he fell in love with. "You're welcome," she murmured

Part of Jason wanted to say something, to ask what was wrong and where she'd really gone. But instead, he took her hand, gave it a squeeze, and got ready to eat. As he prepared to put his first forkful into his mouth, his cellphone blared at his side. He shot a quick glance at it. Derek's name popped up on the caller ID.

"Oh, it's Morgan," Jason said, setting his fork back down on his plate. "Give me just a second." Picking up the phone, he answered hastily, "Hey, man. What's happening?"

Derek's voice came out more solemn than he sounded normally. It sounded strained. "Jason," he said. "I wanted to give you a call and let you know…let you know that I'm moving out of town."

Jason's shoulders drooped slightly. "What? Where?"

"Chicago," Derek said. "I'm gonna be closer to family. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Well, we should get a drink before you get out of town," Jason said. "I'm sorry to hear you're leaving. We'd just gotten back to things being like old times."

Derek chuckled woodenly. "Yeah, well if I get any time in the next few days I'll let you know," he said. "I'm not sure if I will, though. I leave in two days, and I still have to pack up the last of my boxes."

"Well, let me know," Jason said. "I want to say goodbye before you leave." He glanced at his wife. "I'm sure Penelope will want to, too."

Penelope looked at Jason in confusion, mouthing _What is it?_ to him. He shook his head, waiting to hear more from Derek.

"Umm, yeah," Derek said slowly. "Like I said, though, I don't know if I'll be able to meet up. We can definitely meet in the Windy City at some point."

Nodding, Jason said, "Sounds like a plan. I'll talk to you soon, Morgan." He hung up the phone and set it back down on the table. Penelope was still staring at him expectantly, an intense look on her face. "It's Derek. He's moving away to Chicago." Looking away, he picked his fork back up to start eating again. He ate for a few minutes before realizing it was silent in his kitchen. When he glanced at his wife again, her eyes were wide and her mouth was agape ever so slightly. Jason laughed at her shock. "What, honey? What's that look for? You gonna miss…"

But then something clicked into place for Jason. Everything, the look in her eyes, the odd behaviors so different from who she actually was, the distance she'd put between them…this reaction to the news Derek was leaving.

It all made sense.


	12. Confrontation

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **I'm so sorry I am just now updating this one. I appreciate your patience. I'm in the midst of figuring out what I'm going to do for my senior thesis, and I'm also taking a pretty intense course load, so finding writing time is difficult. But here it is at last!**

 **This one is also a bit shorter, but it's got the Jason confrontation. Thanks so much for the reviews, too!**

Penelope had always considered herself a moderately good person. If someone felt horrible, she gave them a hug; if her godson, Henry, tripped and skinned his knee, she put Neosporin on it and kissed his forehead; she was always ready with ice cream if JJ needed her.

But now as she stared at Jason's devastated face, all her thoughts of being a good person evaporated. Her eyes burned with tears she knew she could not shed, not when she was the adulteress.

"Jason…" she tried.

Her husband rose to his feet, his hands shaking. His eyes bored into hers, an odd glint in them. It wasn't ravenous anger, nor was it his inherent kindness. Distress came upon his features as he grappled to find an explanation where one could not be found. Every emotion imaginable flickered before her, spread across his face in a show of confusion.

"So…so all this time I was thinking I did something wrong?" he said in a low voice. "Since the wedding you just – you _both_ just decided you were – " Jason's voice cut off abruptly, like cotton had been shoved down his throat to clog his next suggestion.

Penelope jumped to her feet, going to his side to take his hands. He tried pulling them back, but her grip on them was too tight. "No, no it isn't like that!" she protested. "We never – "

Anger, sharp and bitter, splashed across his face. "You never _what_ , Penelope? You never slept with him, one of my closest friends? Is that what you were going to say?"

"Jason, I never did," she insisted. "I swear I never slept with him."

 _But I could have_ , she thought to herself as she remembered the feel of Derek's lips burned permanently into hers. Her body quivered at the thought of his hands roaming across her breasts, between her thighs, all over her body. For as long as she lived that sensation would be there.

"You may as well have with as guilty as you look," Jason snapped, yanking his hands away finally. He ran his hands through his hair. Penelope tried blinking away her tears, but she could no longer hold them in. Shame washed over her as she wiped them away.

Sniffling, she said, "I can't leave you. I told him that, and I'm telling you that. You're my best friend. I love _you_."

Giving her an incredulous stare, Jason bit out his next words. She flinched at his tone. "Do you? 'Cause I'm having a really hard time believing that right now," he growled. "You've not acted like yourself at all since we got married, and that's when you met him. You " Shaking his head, he laughed bitterly. "It's sort of ironic that I introduced the two of you, isn't it?"

"Jason, please," she said. "I know I messed up, but I'm never seeing him again." Her voice began to shake, almost faltering as it stepped into dangerous promises she didn't know she could keep. "I love you, Jason, not Derek."

They stood there in the kitchen, staring. She couldn't read him, couldn't find any sign of what he might do next. Cold dread filled her stomach at that inability to see his next movements. Abruptly, Jason shook his head, breaking the stillness in the room. "No," he said.

Confused at his declaration, Penelope frowned. "What?"

But he made no response. Instead, he turned on his heel and strode toward their bedroom. Frantic, Penelope followed after him. "Where are you going?" she demanded.

"Where do you think I'm going?" Jason's response was far calmer than she had anticipated. He pushed in the door to their bedroom where he grabbed his partially packed suitcase he'd prepared for his upcoming work trip.

Penelope didn't know why, but a surge of anger and frustration coursed through her. "Why are you staying so quiet about this?" she demanded.

Jason didn't even look up at her as he started throwing things into his bag. "Don't try and act like this was my decision," he muttered.

Guilty, Penelope bowed her head. She couldn't be frustrated with him. It was her who was at fault. "Can't we just…can't we just talk about this?" she asked, desperately. "What can I do? I want to fix this!"

"You can be honest with me!" Jason shouted, finally looking up at her. "This funk you've been in – the weird behavior, the refusal to talk about kids, our sex life stopping. Has it all been because of Derek?"

She didn't say anything at first. The answer was yes, she already knew that. But for some reason she thought that if she could just keep the answer buried and not reveal it to Jason, then it wouldn't become real. If she ignored it, maybe things could go back to the way they were.

Jason could read her silence, though. Sadness, one more less bitter and more sorrowful, entered his eyes, breaking her heart even more. "Figures I'd lose a girl to Morgan," he said. "He's a great guy, but Jesus he knows how to go after the wrong women."

Penelope felt like she should have held her tongue rather than defending Derek, but the words came spewing out before she could stop herself. "Derek didn't go after me," she murmured. "It just…happened." She bent her head. "I kissed him."

Her husband said nothing. She looked back up at him once more, and his face softened. She could barely believe it. He looked almost…sympathetic? Leaning over, he zipped up his duffel bag and went forward to stand directly in front of her. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he heaved a deep sigh.

"I've seen the look in your eyes lately," he said. "I should have known what was going on."

Biting her lip, Penelope shook her head. She wanted to weep, hit the walls, scream. She couldn't stand the pain she'd caused Jason, and she wanted nothing more than to fix it. Bringing her hand up, she grabbed his wrist and gasped, "Jason, please. I can't leave you. I…I don't want to."

He saw through the lie, though.

"Don't," he said. "I know you too well to believe that you don't want to. I wanted to be the one to make you happy, but sometimes things happen that change things. If Derek is what makes you happy, you need to be with him."

Bending her head and choking on a sob, she murmured, "How can you be alright with this? How can you be gentle when I _betrayed_ you?"

He shrugged. "It's not in me to go into rages," he said. "I'm pissed as hell, and it's going to hurt worse than anything ever has before, but I love you. And you being happy means more to me than anything, even if it's at the expense of my own happiness. So I'm going to let you go."

Penelope couldn't find the words. Her tongue froze in her mouth. A sudden exhaustion weighed down on her. Her desire for Derek finally coming to light now meant she didn't have to hide anymore. It was oddly liberating, even if it meant crushing Jason's happiness.

Jason leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead, then picked up his bag and left the room without a word.

Then there was nothing but silence.

 **So now that it's out in the open and Jason knows, his reaction may seem kind of mellow. I did that on purpose though because his character isn't very vindictive. He's hurt, but he isn't going to make a huge display of anger. I'm going to take care of him, so don't worry about him being hurt forever ;)**


	13. Surprise Visit

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Hi, all. My apologies on the extreme delay in posting. My fall has been rather horrible, with a very heavy class schedule, and then I had a death in my family, which set me behind in school and in my personal life :( So, it's been pretty rough. However, I really hope to get back in the swing of writing more frequently. I keep thinking about my Morcia stories, so I hope things will return to normal soon.**

"So…you're in love with Derek? Jason's friend from college?" JJ asked.

Penelope stared into space, her eyes trained ahead of her. She knew a feeling of emptiness should have filled her belly, but instead, all she could feel was a sense of freedom. Her love for Derek, the love she'd tried to deny, gave her a strange sense of hope. Guilt still plagued her, but it was overshadowed by what she wanted. What she truly wanted.

"You ended a relationship, a _marriage_ , with a man you've been together with for years for someone you've know for less than even _one_ year?" JJ opened her mouth, but shut it once more in disbelief.

"Yeah," Penelope murmured. "I did."

Two days ago, Jason had walked out on her. For those two days she remained holed up in her apartment, calling in sick to work so she could hide her shame. She'd thought about calling Derek, but with everything that had happened, she hadn't the heart to try. When JJ waltzed up to Penelope's door to find her after the forty eight hours of complete silence, she'd had no choice in the matter since her best friend had a key.

"I just don't understand," JJ protested. "You left Jason."

"He left me," Penelope corrected, running her hands through her hair.

That didn't stop JJ from going on. "For a man you just me! What the fuck were you thinking, Garcia?"

Rolling her eyes, Penelope leaned back against the couch cushions and huffed. "JJ, I really don't know what to tell you. It just – "

"Happened, I know," JJ grumbled. Sighing heavily, she leaned back against the cushions beside Penelope and shot her blue eyes to the side. "What's going on, PG? Why'd everything change?"

Tears flooded Penelope's eyes, and she turned her head to look right back at JJ. She bit her lip. "I – I don't now, Jayje," she whispered, a few tears trickling down her eyes. She sniffled, knowing red eyes and a snotty mess awaited her when the storm hit fully. "Everything was fine, and then…and then…" She took a breath, filling her lungs before blowing out slowly to calm herself. "He caught me before I could fall at the wedding, and I knew right then that I loved him. I just didn't even see it, but I recognize it now."

"A little ironic that you guys were fighting about love at first sight being real or not," JJ said with a half laugh.

Penelope nodded, putting her head in her hands. "I remember," she said. "I remember everything. But I also know I can't go after him."

"Why the hell not?" JJ asked. "You left your marriage for this guy!"

"That's the thing, I wasn't going to leave my marriage until Jason found out!" Penelope cried. "I was going to stay with Jason, and I broke Derek's heart to try and make it work. He'd never want me now."

JJ reached over to take Penelope's hand. "Garcie, if he loves you like he claims he does, he'll want you no matter what happened."

Tears filled Penelope's eyes. "I – I don't know," she murmured. "What would I even – "

Before she could say anymore, a knock sounded from the door. She jumped in her seat, glancing toward her door. JJ arched a brow.

"Ugh, who the hell is knocking at the door right now?" Penelope muttered, rising to her feet. She wiped her eyes beneath her glasses, hiding any evidence of her tears. Hopefully her face wouldn't be too red.

Opening the door, she found an older, well-dressed man standing on her doorstep. She frowned at the anxious look on his face. "Umm, can I help you?" she asked.

"You've got to be Penelope," he said. His eyes flicked over every inch of her face. She could tell he wanted to figure out exactly who she was, but all he was doing was reading her body language. He said nothing as he watched her.

Her eyebrows shot upwards. "Yeah," she said. "I am. Who are you?" The man pushed inside her apartment, studying her home in the same way he had studied her. Irritated, Penelope gaped at him and shut the door. "Umm, excuse me! What do you think you're doing?"

He fixed her with a serious look, arching a dark brow. "I needed to meet the woman who sent my partner running for the hills," he said. He had an iron tone, and it grated against her ears.

"I mean what are you doing barging into my apartment!" she snapped, putting her hands on her hips.

He sparred right back, meeting her verbal blow by blow. "I just told you, Kitten: you chased my friend off."

Losing her tongue, Penelope blinked at him. David Rossi – Penelope knew exactly who he was from all Derek's stories – was right. She really had chased Derek from town. Not intentionally of course, but the sheer force of her rejection sent him bolting toward Dulles International Airport. She bent her head.

"Who's this?" JJ asked, approaching. She placed her hands on her hips, watching the older man carefully.

He extended his hand toward JJ. "David Rossi, detective with the DC police," he said. "Pleased to meet you…?" He waited expectantly for her name.

JJ shook his outstretched hand. Lightness entered her voice. "Jennifer Jareau," she said. "Call me JJ."

Penelope rolled her eyes and went toward her kitchen to pour a glass of water. The last thing she needed to do was bear witness to her best friend getting hit on by an older man, and vice versa. "That's nice that you guys," she grunted. "Glad you two are hitting it off, but what the hell are you doing here, Detective?"

"I told you," Rossi said, taking his eyes off JJ and following Penelope into the kitchen. "You chased my buddy off."

Taking a frustrated sip of her water, Penelope shook her head. "That doesn't tell me why you're here," she said. "What's the point of being here if he's gone?"

"What's the point?" Rossi laughed. A humorous twinkle entered his eye. "My dear, the whole point of me being here is to have you help me bring him back." She opened her mouth to protest, to say that she'd already done the worst thing she could possibly do for the situation. Rossi cut her off again before she could say anything. "Your husband has already left you. You wouldn't look this tense and upset if he hadn't. You also wouldn't have your best friend over here in the middle of a work morning to comfort you if it wasn't for something serious." He nodded. "You didn't want to leave your husband, even though you love Derek. Yet here you are, and the other guy isn't."

Blinking at Rossi, Penelope set her glass down on the counter. She swallowed hard. "I don't know what you want me to say," she said. "Derek's gone. He's gone, and he isn't going to want to talk to me. He won't come back."

"That's where you're wrong," Rossi said, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared at her as if ready to give her a lecture.

Narrowing her eyes at him, Penelope snapped, "Listen, _Rossi_! I don't need you coming in here and rubbing in my face about what happened between Derek and I. I – "

"No," he said. "I'm not rubbing anything in your face. I'm saying you're wrong about him not wanting to talk to you. He's going to come back."

Penelope averted her eyes. "No, no way," she said. "There's no way that's going to happen." _Not after what happened between us._

"Why don't you listen to what he's saying, Garcie?" JJ suggested, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Tears filled Penelope's eyes. Guilt filled her heart. After all the hurt she'd caused Jason and Derek, she didn't think she could risk trying what Rossi was about to suggest. Her shoulders sagged at the thought of what she wanted, but couldn't let happen.

"I know you don't believe it," Rossi started, "but you're the only one who can bring him back. If you tell him you want him, he'll hear you. You're the only one that can do it."

Was he right? Could it be possible Derek would come back if she said something? She loved Derek, she could no longer deny that fact. There was nothing she could do to fix what happened with Jason. But maybe with Derek there was a chance she could fix things. The pain she caused Derek could be replaced with something better, something warmer.

Looking back up at Rossi, Penelope took a deep breath. "Let's find him then," she murmured.


End file.
